Police Academy Page #3

I want Fackler and Martin.

Right here, Mahoney and Tackleberry.

Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!

Thank you.

I've always wanted to live with a nut.

My pleasure.

- Mahoney, is it?

- Yes, sir. I'd just like to say one more...

The rest of you wimps come with me.

Move it.

Wimps.

You're married?

That's beautiful.

To me, marriage is a sacred institution.

So tell me, you and the wife

do it doggy style or what?

Room ready for inspection, sir!

- Good haircuts, men.

- Thank you, sir.

- Damn good haircuts.

- Thank you, sir.

Men, I've got a little problem here.

It seems I've got

a squad full of scumbuckets.

A whole big bunch of losers.

And I was kind of hoping

that you two fine young cadets...

might help me to just

get rid of a few of them.

What do you say?

Will you help me out?

- Yes, sir.

- Good.

I'm Copeland, sir. Chad Copeland.

Good for you.

Hi, I'm Douglas Fackler.

I always wanted to be a cop.

Lt. Hoffman, report immediately

to the infirmary.

- How do I look?

- That wasn't very funny this morning.

I wasn't trying to be funny.

I'd give anything to see your thighs.

I don't suppose you'd

describe them for me?

Well, they're tan,

very supple, well-rounded...

and luxuriant to the touch.

Absolute silence!

My name is Lt. Harris...

in case you missed it.

This is Sgt. Callahan...

in case you missed it.

We are the meanest instructors here.

We've got you...

because you are the worst people here.

You people are "D" squad.

"D" for dirtbags.

When I say, "Hey, dirtbags!"

That means you.

You people are going to hate my guts

for the rest of your lives.

I am going to make you sorry

that you ever came here.

Now, it is traditional

here at the academy...

for each squad to have

two student squad leaders.

I have chosen Cadets Blankes

and Dopeland. Step out, men.

If these two cadets give you an order...

obey it.

I thought it would be nice...

if we were to close out

our first afternoon together...

with a nice little stroll

around the campus.

Move out, maggots!

Sh*t, this is definitely not Ecuador.

Get up, Barbara. Get up. Move it.

I could show a movie on your butt, fatso!

...nineteen, twenty.

More! I want more!

Fifteen, sixteen...

seventeen, eighteen. Let's go!

Nine, ten...

Attention. Lights out in 10 minutes.

Game over.

A**hole.

Arrest...

procedures...

traffic violations...

high-speed driving...

self-defense...

and you will have many examinations...

which you must pass.

Plus...

you will endure an extremely rigorous

physical training program.

Do you know what that means, Hooks?

I'm not sure, sir.

What?

Voice commands.

We will learn to use our voices

with authority.

Won't we, Hooks?

Have any of you

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