Planet 51 Page #4

back at Kennedy.

I'm Captain

Charles T. Baker, astronaut.

As-tro-nau-t.

Ass...

(CLEARS THROAT) Tro-naut.

(SLOWLY) Lem.

(ENUNCIATING SLOWLY) Lem.

Either your name is Lem,

or you want to mate with me.

Houston, we have

a little problem.

What do you want?

Thanks for asking.

Coffee, light,

two sugars.

Do you have any

Frappuccino up here?

Any puff pastry,

too. Thanks.

No, I mean are you here

to take over our worid

and, like, eat our brains?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa! Hold on.

What kind of

sick planet is this?

First of all, it's supposed

to be uninhabited, okay?

Not full of sea monkeys

dancing to the oldies.

My missin was to plant Old

Glory, whack a few golf balls

and head back to the Kids'

Choice Awards. I'm getting slimed.

What? You were just talking alien.

Hey, I'm not the

alien here. You are.

Me? You are.

No, you are.

You are. You...

You came to my planet.

(STAMMERING)

An alien planet.

Hello!

Hello.

Not, "Hello."

"Hello!"

Hello... What?

What?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Let's start over.

Look, there's a command module

in orbit right now.

It's running out of fuel.

It has to leave in 74 hours,

and if I'm not on it,

it goes back to Earth

without me. Capisce?

I have to get to my ship

and go back up in space.

Can you help me?

You want me to take you

to your flying saucer? No!

If they catch me helping you,

who knows what they'll do to me?

I'll lose everything. My

life was just getting perfect.

(SIGHING) Kid...

You are a kid, right?

I mean, you're not like a

thousand-year-old Yoda or anything?

Never mind. Look, kid,

you're my only hope.

But I suppose you

could leave me stranded.

My wife will have

to support the kids.

Eleven. We have 11 kids,

always hungry. Yeah. Yeah.

But, hey, they'll get

by without a father.

The important thing here

is you avoid

(MOCKINGLY)

A little trouble.

(NEW YORK ACCENT) Alien hotline.

What's the nature of your sighting?

Hello?

Are you there?

Hello? Are you there?

(WHISTLING)

Hey, fella.

Who wants a donut?

(YELPS)

(LAUGHING)

Silly dog!

(SIZZLING)

(HUMMING)

(GASPS)

(SNARLING)

(SCREAM BUILDING)

There's your flying saucer. Now what?

Okay, here's the plan.

You knock out that cop,

then you overpower those two.

You neutralize that one

and handcuff the big guy

to the steering wheel.

That's your plan? What

if they start shooting?

You're one of their own. They'll

probably just aim for your legs.

My legs?

Don't your legs

grow back?

No! We're not

like your kind, okay?

(SIGHS)

I'll tell you what,

eat this.

You become invincible.

Oh, good.

Then you do it.

I can't be seen breaking the

law. I've got the right stuff.

The what?

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