Paul Blart: Mall Cop Page #3

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whether the title should be

Security Guard or Officer.

I'm sure you heard about it.

- I didn't.

- You will. You're gonna.

- But I'm sure I will.

- It's out there.

So, you all set

for the busiest shopping day of the year?

Yeah, right.

And the worst day for a birthday.

This year, it falls on a Black Friday, which

means I probably won't even get a card.

Everyone's too busy shopping.

You know what? Yeah. Autumn Ash.

- Yeah.

- I think that's your color.

- I think this'll work.

- It's a winner.

- So that's $9.95.

- $9.95?

- Yeah.

- Wow.

At those prices,

now you got me thinking ponytail.

All right. Thank you.

Thank you.

- Right. So there you go.

- Okay.

And, there you go.

Thank you, Amy.

Thank you, Officer Blart.

Hey, Blart. Wow, nice shirt.

You went with a medium?

It's a bit formfitting,

but that's 'cause we're required to wear

protective vests under our...

No. Not buying it. No.

'Cause I don't see any vest

underneath here, so...

No, but it's a thick T-shirt.

Basically like a thermal they have you wear.

Nope. Nope. No.

I don't understand why you're laughing.

I just called you fat.

I'm not laughing.

Yeah, whatever. Amy.

Hey, everyone's going to American Joe's

tonight, and I want to see you there.

Okay?

We're gonna split some onion strings.

Wow. Wow.

Good.

Good hang.

Wow, yeah. That's great.

Hey, Blart, they need you

at Victoria's Secret.

Okay, roger that.

Okay, I gotta go.

Okay. Bye.

- I found it first.

- No, you didn't.

Ladies. Problem.

What's the genesis?

She's trying to take

the last push-up bra in this size.

There's gonna be a new shipment tomorrow.

They'll be here by noon.

Well, I need this one now.

I have a date tonight.

Really? Is he blind?

Whoa!

Waterproof shoes and Baggies on the socks.

Not my first rodeo.

Okay, ladies, need to see some ID.

No, you don't.

Ma'am, I should warn you, I do have

the authority to make a citizen's arrest.

So does anyone.

I could arrest you right now.

- That's true. She could.

- Hey, not talking to you. Okay?

Can I see you for a second, please, ma'am?

Look, I understand your sensitivity.

I've had some issues with weight myself.

- Are you calling me fat?

- No. No, no, no, no.

I'm just saying I've been down that road.

I mean... I mean, I'm still on it.

We both are, you know? Stranded.

Let's face it, we eat to fill a void, right?

But as soon as I started eating healthier,

I noticed I wasn't so moody.

And PS, your skin's gonna clear up.

- Can you hold onto these?

- Sure.

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