Parental Guidance Page #3

say that they can't make it.

What? What?

- What?

- The itch.

You're kidding.

You're getting your "Artie and Diane Rash"?

Have you forgotten how they disapprove

of the way that we parent?

My father doesn't listen.

My mother, she's a tornado with lipstick.

Alice, we need this vacation.

And as you know...

who's going to be with you

in the Hilton Head?

Nigel?

That's right.

In fact, have you heard me new song?

I'm gonna love you

till the police come

Anything for you, Nigel.

Carl flushed my pillow down the toilet.

Toilet overflowing.

Bathroom flooded.

Okay, I'll call my parents.

Artie, pick up the phone!

What are you doing?

I can't hear you, the phone's ringing.

- Hello?

- Hi, Dad.

- Alice, how are you?

- Is Mom around?

Yeah, hold on, I'll get her.

Your daughter.

Put her on speakerphone.

Don't tell her I was fired.

- Oh, my.

- I got it.

- Put her on hold.

- I know.

- Put her on hold.

- I'm trying.

- Put her on hold.

- I can't.

- Put her on hold.

- You're making me tense.

Now, put her on hold.

It's right there.

I'm gonna start a fire, here.

Hi, Alice, what's going on?

Well, now that you ask...

Phil has to go away next week and

I'd really like to go with him.

And we need someone to watch the kids,

so I was wondering, would you want to?

No. No.

We'd love to!

Listen, I'm cooking dinner.

I'll call you back in a

little bit for the details.

She said yes.

You said yes.

Artie, we practically

never see our grandchildren.

We've never seen their new house.

They've never been to Fresno.

I just got fired. I'm licking my wounds.

I'll lick them. Come on!

They need someone to take care of the kids.

Can't the house do it?

We have one child.

These three kids are the only

grandchildren we're ever going to have.

I'm awkward around those kids.

I don't think they like me.

Honey, they don't see you enough.

They have to know you better

before they don't like you.

No, but it's a real thing, Di.

And it all comes from Alice.

Like the last time,

the little one left the house...

wearing flippers and a bathrobe.

So I made a little joke.

I said, "This one, any hope for normal?"

And I got this withering gaze.

Like you're giving me now.

Well, first of all...

it might be a good thing

if you learned "the little one's" name.

It's Barker.

Di.

Listen to me, I'm fragile right now.

I need a job.

I don't need Alice's disapproval.

I'm not going.

- You're going.

- That's what I meant.

Her whole way of raising

her kids is a giant...

...in our face.

It's her generation. It's just their way.

Hey, what are you looking for, sailor?

If you haven't found

it yet, it's not there. I'll help you out.

- Come on!

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