Okay, welcome back.
This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies...
and we've got a good one, my friends.
Top of the ninth here at Chukchansi
Park, and a beautiful night.
We can actually feel
that fall is finally on its way.
It's a rather crisp 107 degrees, but dry.
We've got 15,000 sweaty and bloated
people all pumped up on Churros...
rooting on our Fresno Grizzlies.
And Brad, this is why I love
announcing Minor League Baseball...
because I get to say names
like "River Cats..."
or the "Rancho Cucamonga Quakes."
I don't have to ever say boring names
like "Tigers," or "Red Sox," or "Cubs."
Okay, we got a little
break in the action...
as they're having
a little meeting on the mound.
Artie, do you know what time it is?
I sure do, Brad.
It's time for Artie's Kiss Cam!
Thank you, Gwen.
Let's see what kind of young lovers
we got at the ballpark tonight.
All right, there's a kiss.
Well, you know one thing when you see
a kiss like that, they're married.
Wait, wait, we've got a proposal.
"Will you marry me, Clara? Love, Nate."
And whoa! He has scored!
Brad, that is what
you young people would call a "hottie."
He's got Britney Spears
and he's about to give her the ring...
and he goes the other way!
I can't believe what I am seeing...
and I'm sure she's
got a great "personality," but, oh my.
I thought Jerry Garcia was dead.
What's he doing
Here at Chukchansi Park,
love is blind, and apparently so is Nate.
All right, let's get back to the action
as the meeting breaks up on the mound.
Here's the situation.
First and third, two outs.
And here's the pitch.
Swing and a miss. Diaz fires down to third.
They've picked him off third!
- You're out!
- Ballgame over!
I'll tell you, Myers is
getting an earful...
and as my mom used to say,
"There's no cure for dumb."
Gwen! We won.
And that closes out
the last game of the season.
The Grizzlies take
the Sacramento River Cats...
We'll be right back with a happy recap.
That is a bad way to end a game.
Artie. Mr. Decker.
I want to say thank you
for what has been an awesome semester.
I mean, you taught me a lot,
and... I got you this.
What did you do, Brad?
It's got all the famous calls
you told me about.
Harwell, "Red" Barber, Scully, Russ Hodges.
You know, that's really great,
Brad. Thank you so much.
Well, as the great Yogi Berra once said,
"It ain't over till it's over."
Well, this Fresno Grizzlies season is over.
I'm Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies.
So, on behalf of Brad Zolick
and the late Gwen Foster on the organ...
good night everybody,
thanks for listening and lights out, Alice.
I love this job.
I'm sorry, Artie. I'm changing everything.
New logos, new uniforms, new music.
All the deadwood is
floating to the sawmill.
You're old school.
You reminisce and you tell stories.
All our sponsors are for hearing aids,
beds that go up and down, and scooters.
Not the cool kind, the sad kind.
We need someone who's wired in.
- How many friends do you have?
- I don't have any friends.
- Have you made any posts?
- What was your last update?
- My what?
- Have you poked anybody?
- I haven't poked anybody!
The thing is Artie,
even if you were connected...
I don't know that I'd want
to be poked by you.
- How many apps do you have?
- I don't have any apps.
- You don't have any apps?
- Everyone has apps.
- I don't have an app.Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes
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"Parental Guidance" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 24 Mar. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/parental_guidance_15599>.
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