Paperback Page #3

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- Is it? Is it? Don't touch me!

Which one is her husband?

- You know that guy,

Jason, I was talking about?

- Your best friend Jason?

- Yeah.

- What's-- Have you not seen

a picture of her, or like...

- I guess I forgot to ask.

- Jesus, you really need to

stop being so self-involved,

or at the very

least join Facebook.

- Okay, I'll get on

that. I'll get on that.

What do I do in the

meantime though?

Because this is terrible.

- You've gotta fix this as

soon as possible. That's it.

- Oh yeah. Just think.

That is really distracting.

Can you just take it

easy with the winking?

You look like you're

having a seizure.

- I am seducing you.

- People wink once. They don't

wink like 10 times, that's--

- Can you just do this

so I can quit pretending

I find you charming?

- Okay.

- Okay, good.

(phone rings)

Hello?

- Oh my god, why

are they coming?

Do they hear us?

- Rob. I'd like you to meet

a professor in my department.

This is Mark.

- Hey, how's it going.

- I recognize you.

You work at Satchels.

- Oh yeah, yeah.

- Some good pizza. My

compliments to the chef.

Which would be you I guess.

- It's just temporary.

- Are you gonna

introduce us to...

- Well yeah, this is Samantha.

- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.

- Um, sorry, I have to go home.

My son won't stop trying to

cut my babysitter's hair, so...

- Oh, good luck with that.

- Thank you.

Call me.

- Will do.

So, who are you

here with? Nobody?

- You were happy

when you found out

your book was going to be

released in hardcover, right?

- Yeah, I was glad they

thought I was selling copies.

- No, but besides the money.

Hardcovers, they're

durable, they last.

They come with this feeling of:

this thing that I created

that I put my everything into

might still be around

and mean something

in 10 years, or 100.

Paperbacks don't have

that, they're disposable,

you know, forgettable.

Doesn't mean they can't be

a good read or anything.

- Well I'm sorry that I

have to play the role of

the old lady party pooper,

but I'm exhausted sweetie.

Do you think we can head home?

- Yeah, let's all head home.

- Oh come on, it's only 10:30.

- Rob, why don't

you walk Emily home?

- What?

- No. No no no.

- I mean, if you're

both ready to go

it will give you a chance

to get to know each other.

I mean, you barely

talked all night.

- It's probably in

opposite directions.

- No no, we're on

the way for him.

It's really no inconvenience

at all, right Rob?

You can do that.

- I don't uh-- I don't want to.

- What? What's the matter

with you? Be a gentleman.

- I don't want to

be a gentleman.

- Walk my wife home!

- All right, fine!

- Thank you! Jesus!

- Thank you honey.

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