Pants on Fire Page #3

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TO SPEND:

SOME QUALITY BONDING TIME

SEARCHING FOR A ROTTING

MARSUPIAL CORPSE WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW I WOULD!

[SIGHS]

BUT MIKEY HAS A CHEM TEST,

AND I PROMISED HIM

THAT WE'D STUDY.

YOU HELP THAT MIKEY.

HE NEEDS YOU.

HANNAH CAN:

HELP YOUR FATHER.

BUT MY ANNIVERSARY--

SWEETIE, THREE WEEKS

IS NOT AN ANNIVERSARY.

BUT--

HANNAH, YOU ARE THE BEST.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU:

ARE THE REASON:

THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME

GET NOMINATED FOR AWARDS.

THANK YOU.

[]

AH. OKAY.

RIGHT!

LOOKING GOOD, SIS.

BROTHERS.

HAPPY HUNTING.

ALRIGHT, SWEETHEART.

IF YOU FIND THE POSSUM

AND IT ISN'T MOVING,

IT COULD JUS BE PLAYING POSSUM.

OR IT'S DEAD

FROM RABIES.

GROSS.

EITHER WAY,

DON'T TOUCH IT.

USE THIS POSSUM CLUB.

EW, I THINK I FOUND IT!

GET THE TRASH BAG!

OH, IT'S ALIVE!

IT'S ALIVE

AND I THINK IT HATES ME!

USE THE CLUB!

USE THE POSSUM CLUB!

IT'S A BROOM, DAD!

[GRUNTS]

LOOK, YOUR SHOW

IS THE NUMBER-ONE

WEEKLY ANNOUNCEMENT SHOW

IN THIS SCHOOL--

IT'S THE ONLY

WEEKLY ANNOUNCEMENT SHOW

IN THIS SCHOOL.

IT'S STILL NUMBER ONE!

OKAY? POINT IS--

I TELL ONE MORE:

KILLER MIKEY STORY ON AIR,

AND I HAVE THAT "STUDEN OF THE YEAR" AWARD LOCKED.

YEAH, BUT TELLING EVERYONE

YOU HELD A BOTTLE DRIVE

TO RAISE MONEY:

TO BUY A BIONIC TAIL

TO SAVE:

MIKEY'S SICK DOG?

I MEAN, MAYBE

YOU'RE GOING TOO BIG.

NO, THIS IS

THE TIME TO GO BIG.

IT'S THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH.

I GOTTA SWING FOR THE FENCES.

MAYBE I SHOULD GO BIGGER.

[SNAPS] WHAT IF...

ITS TAIL SHOOTS LASERS?

THAT'D BE AWESOME.

A LITTLE:

TOO BIG, BUDDY.

BUT I LIKE WHERE

YOUR HEAD'S AT.

I'M STICKING WITH

THE REGULAR BIONIC TAIL.

I'M INSPIRED

JUST THINKING OF IT.

HEY, JACK.

OH, HI! UH--

JEN...

...NIFER.

HOW'S, EH...?

HI.

YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER.

OH. NO, REALLY?

THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN.

I'M DYING HERE!

NO, I MEAN,

YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER.

LISA WILL FREAK OUT!

LISA?

YOUR SUPER-POSSESSIVE

GIRLFRIEND FROM ARIZONA?

OH. OH, RIGHT.

OKAY, I'LL GE RID OF HER,

AND THEN I'LL MEE YOU IN THE STUDIO.

OKAY.

HEY, LISTEN, I JUST WANTED

TO CONGRATULATE YOU

ON THE WHOLE STUDENT OF THE YEAR

NOMINATION.

IT'S SO COOL WHA YOU'VE BEEN DOING FOR MIKEY.

THANKS. HEH. YOU.

NO, THANK-- THANK YOU

IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.

OH, BOY. UH...

LISTEN, I'M SORRY.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS.

I DON'T LIKE

ALL THIS ATTENTION.

YEAH.

I'M THAT WAY, TOO.

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

UM, SO CAITLIN IS HAVING

A POOL PARTY THIS WEEKEND,

AND I WAS THINKING...

MAYBE YOU, RYAN AND ERIC

MIGHT WANT TO COME TO IT?

S-SERIOUSLY?

I MEAN, UH, SERIOUSLY?

CAITLIN HAS A-- HAS A POOL

IN THIS CLIMATE?

THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF WORK.

YOU GOTTA GOTTA DRAIN I IN THE WINTER.

BUT YEAH, NO, NO THAT'D BE FUN.

WE COULD TOTALLY POOL PARTY.

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