Ordinary World Page #5

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kind of a long story.

Mmm.

MAN:
Welcome

to The Drake, sir.

-Sorry to keep you waiting.

-Oh, just give me

one second, okay?

At your leisure.

All right.

Well, I'll let you

finish up.

Oh, no, no.

No, no, no.

Um, it's awesome

to see you.

You still say "awesome."

Yeah, yeah.

I guess I kinda do.

Anyway, I'll see you later.

All right.

So what can

I help you with?

Yeah, um, Rup-ert.

Ru-pert.

Oh. Rupert.

Yeah, I'm looking

to get a room.

Oh. Okay.

Well, let me see

what we have available.

-Man, I can't believe that.

-What's that, sir?

Oh, I just haven't seen

that chick in, like, 15 years.

Chick, sir? Oh.

Was she an old flame?

Something like that.

Yes.

That's nice for you.

All right, well, we have

a few options available.

I assume you're looking

for a single, sir?

I don't know, Rupert.

Um, it's kind

of a special occasion.

Do you got

some kind of a suite?

A suite? Well--

Yeah.

Well, we have

the Presidential, but, uh...

What's that?

It's very expensive.

Oh, cool.

Can I take a look at it?

It's very,

very expensive.

Well, I wanna see it.

The Carlyle Suite.

It's occupied.

And here we are.

The Presidential Suite.

Whoa.

Oh, my God.

This is amazing.

Ten presidents have stayed

in the suite.

It was last remodeled

in 2010,

but it was restored

to its original design.

Have you ever felt

Egyptian cotton?

What is this,

a king size?

The dining room table

is made from mahogany

that has been imported

from Brazil.

Oh, my God.

There's a kitchen

in here?

Yes.

What's this,

a little whiskey?

Uh, no.

It's not a little whiskey.

This is a Maclarnan Reserve.

Forty-one years.

This is perhaps

the greatest whiskey

that was ever distilled.

Is it any good?

No.

No, it's not any good.

It's perfection.

It starts... mellow.

Sweet.

A little fruity.

But you're gonna wanna hang on,

'cause it's about to get bold.

Suddenly, you taste the earth.

It's gritty,

like there's dirt in your mouth.

Smoky. Oaky.

Perfection.

It lingers for just a moment

and then seamlessly

transitions

into a peculiar finish of lemon

with a hint of cranberries.

And it's

a thousand dollars a bottle.

So let's just leave this here,

and let's go find you

a deluxe queen with a mini bar.

Well, wait, wait, wait.

How much is this room?

Two.

Two what?

2,000.

$2,000 for one night?

This is not

the Sheraton, sir.

No sh*t, Rupert.

Look, why don't we

find you a very nice room

but something simpler.

I got an idea.

There's no one here,

so is there any wavering

on the price?

(chuckles)

No, there's

no wavering, sir.

Why is that so funny?

It's--

No, it's not funny.

So do you want it?

Can I do, like,

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