Ordinary World

---

(cheering, applause)

(muttering, indistinct)

I am. I drank

the whole bottle

of Baileys.

Oh!

Welcome to the news.

Oh, Pete,

it's time for your close-up.

Just kidding.

My name is Johnny.

I play guitar.

I'm Perry,

and I play the guitar,

and I sing.

Gary. Drums.

I'm Pete.

I'm drunk.

Did you say

"I'm drunk"?

I'm drunk.

PERRY:
We're supposed

to be conducting an interview.

Does your band suck

or is your band good?

Suck. Suck.

(crowd chattering)

Puke stains and cigarettes

The party

is in my pocket

I'm lookin' for a drink

And a couch to call my own

Give me a bump

and I will come

And whisper dirty lies

The rapture in your ear

And we'll both be terrified

Bloodshot eyes

and you're peppermint

We could run like dogs

from the devil

Give me one last try

For your love tonight

I'll be the king forever

And you can be my sunshine

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

And now I won't

back down

I said I won't back down

I am the devil's kind

Take me into the water

And pull me

from the slaughter

Because I've got

the shakes

And I'm so petrified

Bloodshot eyes

and you're peppermint

We can roll like dogs

from the devil

Give me one last try

for your love tonight

I'll be the king forever

And you can be

my sunshine

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

We are the devil's kind

And now I won't back down

Said I won't back down

I am the devil's kind

(cheering)

(cheering fading)

Yeah.

(hydraulics squeak)

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t! Hey!

Wait, wait!

Check it out.

Excuse me!

It's Miller time.

Hey, excuse me.

What's the matter

with you, Miller?

I forgot to put

my cans out again.

Like we've never

heard that before.

Come on, man. Help me out.

It's my birthday.

You know that

can't happen, man.

Oh, come on!

Hey, Salome.

Hey.

Hey, use a coaster.

How many times

do I gotta tell you?

Why? It's not

a big deal, Daddy.

It's just juice.

It is a big deal.

It'll leave a ring, and Mom

will go apeshit and blame me.

What's "apeshit" mean?

Oh. Give me my guitar.

It's a...

Word you shouldn't say

It means gorilla poo

Okay, Dad.

And if you say it,

people think I'm a bad dad

Okay, Dad.

So please don't say it

Okay.

Okay, Dad. Okay.

All right.

See how easy that is?

You're crazy, Daddy.

(whirring)

Hey! Good morning, sexy.

WOMAN:
What?

(whirring stops)

Sorry. What?

I said hi.

Oh, hi, hon.

Hey, uh, you up

for a little quickie?

(chuckles) Very funny.

I have to be in court

in 20 minutes.

All I need is five.

Okay, four.

Hey, I just want to say,

I'm sorry in advance.

It was an oversight.

What's that supposed to mean?

It's garbage day.

I forgot to get

the cans out again.

Perry, come on.

That's two weeks in a row.

I know. I'm sorry.

But I figured today

is a special occasion,

so I've earned a free pass?

What's the special occasion?

You know, special.

What?

You know.

No. What?

You're joking, right?

Oh, Perry, come on!

You're slowing me down.

I'm late.

Wow.

Hey! How you doing, man?

Oh, boy! Happy birthday!

Oh, man, thanks.

I think Mommy forgot.

Can you believe that?

All right,

who wants breakfast?

SALOME:
I want breakfast!

Right there.

Let's see what kind

of trouble we can get into.

Salome, you want a cookie?

Really?

Yeah.

It's a special occasion.

What's the special

occasion?

Your talent show.

Tonight?

Are you gonna rock the house?

-I guess.

-What do you mean,

you guess?

Say, "Hell, yeah, Daddy!"

Hell, yeah, Daddy!

Boom! There you go.

Are you nervous?

No.

It's okay if you are.

I'm not really nervous,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)