Orcs! Page #3

---

I need to get a urine sample

from you. Officer.

What's this all about?

Surprise drug test.

We don't have surprise drug tests.

Surprise!

Fine.

Remember. Urine. not sperm.

Do I get a cup?

Here you go. Dan.

Don't drink it all at once.

Hmph!

Goodnight. Officers.

You know. Those tests

have a 50olo false negative. So...

..don't write me off just yet.

We'll see.

You know. Marge.

we lost one of our own out there today.

and there's a rogue bear

on the loose.

Edgar's no loss.

And neither will you be.

Sure. Make yourself itsef!

for the little time you have left.

Post all the bear warning signs

you want.

Fine. Give me the key

to the gun safe.

You have your handgun.

For a bear? This'll just piss him off!

I need a rifle.

You're right.

This is a tranquilliser gun.

Well. we need more than this!

Pepper spray.

In case you meet

the big bad bear.

Give me the key to the damn gun room.

The only way you're gonna get the key is

if you pry it from my cold. Dead fingers.

Happy hunting. Boys.

I thought you said those tests

had. Like. A 50olo false negative.

I lied. Hobie.

So screwed.

I'm sorry.

Look. Don't worry about it. OK?

If it wasn't gonna be this.

it would be something else.

Marge has had it in for me

for a long time.

She told me you were like

a cancerous cyst growing in her armpit.

Then when I asked her

what that felt like. She...

..she told me

to shut my cakehole.

Yeah. well. That's classic Marge.

You know...

..these conditions are perfect

for Big Foot sightings.

Sun's about to go down.

fog should be rolling in.

Just when you can't see properly and

you can let your imagination take over.

Say what you will.

but l bet he's out there. Right now.

Just watching us.

Smelling us.

That's what I'd be doing.

Yes. I'm sure he is.

Just finish this up.

Hey. Look at this track right here.

That's a pretty big footprint.

wouldn't you say?

Sure. They're big footprints.

Big footprints? Or Big Foot prints?

I mean they're giant bear prints!

Now let's get the hell out of here.

You're giving me the heebie-jeebies.

It's like he was headed

this direction.

and then he probably

smelled something interesting.

Where are you going?

Come on! Hobie!

..up through here...

Dammit!

Hobie?

Hobie. Come on.

Where are you?

Hobie.

Shh! I think I heard something.

Yeah. It was probably me.

Shh!

Big Foots get skittish at dusk.

Don't you mean Big Feet?

Big Foots.

I think.

What is that?

That's pretty freaky.

What do you think

would do something like that?

Three teenaged stoners.

that's who.

Alright. Let's get the hell out of here.

Where can I drop you off?

Well...

Marge said I could

stay in the park. with you.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote