One by Two Page #4

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And a chance to choreograph

a song in a film.

And my beautiful dancer

will surely win.

Now show me your moves!

- Yeah?

- Yes!

Amu, eat some more paneer.

Your arm is fractured.

You need calcium.

You should have shared your theory

with the doctor.

He would have locked the bone in place

with paneer. Instant glue!

Done with your one-liners?

What kind of a father are you?

Your son had an accident!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Here I almost died of fear and you...

Believe me,

for the last thirty two years,

I've been slowly

dying of fear as well.

Oh really? My father kidnapped you

and forced you to marry me?

And what about me?

Having to deal with you?

Hey! What kind of a shot was that?

It was a perfectly good shot.

A good shot?Have you

seen the size of this table?

It's not a regulation size table.

Play properly.

So that means

I win no points at all?

No points!

You're playing the world championship?

C'mon let's play!

You think you're a Chinese player?

Yes, exactly! Can't you see?

You know what's special about mothers?

Unconditional love.

No matter what kids do or say,

We give them unconditional love.

Now watch this!

Hey! What's happening here?

Death by TT ball?

Is that how you plan

on getting rid of me?

Better than death

by Mr.Sharma's jokes.

All my life all I've done is work,

work, work!

Get a backache teaching kids

at school and at home.

Give me a headache.

- Cook the food.

- Cook my brains.

- Wash the dishes

- Wash yourself.

- Wash the clothes

- Mom, please! You don't need to feel alone.

I'm here for you.

Tell me, what do you want?

Anything.

Really? Anything?

I've got some pictures here.

Of what? Fridge? Food Processor?

Which model?

They're all exactly like models.

Look - this is Shishika, Neha and Ira.

But I like Shishika the best.

Sociology honours,

originally from Pathankot,

5 feet six inches,

fair, a bit on the heavy side

but perfect daughter-in-law material.

Look. One meeting?

- Mummy, please...not this.

- Please!

One meeting, just one.

Mummy, no emotional

blackmailing please.

Radhika left you, right?

At least that girl had some brains!

Sushil, this is between my son and I.

Please, one meeting. Only one.

Will you break your mother's heart?

Ok.

Finally, the gold medal

is presented to Mrs. Meenu Sharma.

Shishika!

Dude! Disgusting.

It's not my fault.

I had paneer for dinner.

P for Paneer. P for Punjabis.

P for Poot.

You've been fermenting

it to make turd toddy?

Listen, we're cubicle rats.

- Fermentation is the name of the game.

- Shut up

One of these days, they're gonna find

my dead body in my cubicle

And you know what will

be emanating from it?

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