Once Upon a Time at Christmas Page #3

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I don't know what

I'm thinking right now.

Only I was looking forward

to a quiet holiday season.

Still haven't done my shopping.

I don't two mur... three murders

dragging us into overtime.

Look, it might be a coincidence.

No such thing.

Who could that be?

Can I help you?

Mrs. frenchen?

Yes?

I'm in need of a good lawyer

and you came highly recommended.

Could you open the door?

I'm afraid I just

specialize in divorce.

Well, then you're exactly

the person I'm looking for.

You see, Santa, he told me he wouldn't

buy me a bear trap for Christmas.

I reckon that's grounds

for divorce, right?

You can come

by my office next week.

I'd be happy to take a look

at what you need.

I'm afraid there's a real bad time

limit on what i need you for.

Who are you?

Why, I'm Mrs.

Claus, of course.

Tell me what you think

about my elf hair.

So, Santa asked you

to sit on his lap?

Please. If that a**hole

hits on me again,

I'm gonna pepper spray his ass.

Is Lisa coming?

Swim practice.

That's dedication.

She's gonna be selected

for the olympic squad

and we're still gonna be

stuck here in this mall.

Speak for yourself. If they start

giving out gold medals for blow jobs...

I'm going to reicher's

bar later.

- Do you wanna come?

- You're not gonna get served.

Please! I have b*obs.

Boys are dumb.

No debate here.

Hey, Jen, your break's finished.

Hey, Jen...

If you hate it so much,

why'd you come back?

It's either that or join in on my family's

awkward silences it's definitely happening then?

The divorce?

God, I hope so.

At least then we won't

have to play happy family.

What's that?

Joe and David wanted me

to hand these out.

Well, aren't you

a good girlfriend?

It's an annual tradition.

- Being a good girlfriend?

- I'm an amazing girlfriend.

He's so f***ing lucky.

And, no, the party is

an annual tradition.

It's a stupid tradition.

Says the girl who's

dressed like an elf.

Did you,

did you hear about Troy?

No.

He... died last night,

in an accident

with Michelle Weaver.

- My god.

- Yeah.

Did you guys...

Did you guys, like, do it?

No, we... we only went out

for, like, three weeks.

It's fine. In three weeks, i totally

would have f***ed him, like, 30 times.

Well, I didn't really

like him that much.

Who said anything

about liking him?

Well, what kind of accident?

- I don't really know.

- I hope his family's okay.

Confirmation from the fire

department on two dead.

Looks like it was deliberate.

Traces of gas have been

found at the scene.

What?

Come on.

Spit it out, fullard.

Manny was speaking

with the fire inspector.

It's early, but he thinks

it was deliberate.

Found traces

of gas on the ground

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