Old Dogs

Synopsis: Charlie and Dan have been best friends and business partners for thirty years and their Manhattan public relations firm is on the verge of a huge business deal with a Japanese company. With two weeks to sew up the contract, Dan gets a surprise; a woman he married on a drunken impulse nearly nine years before (annulled the next day) shows up to tell him he's the father of her twins, now seven, and she'll be in jail for 14 days for a political protest. Dan volunteers to keep the tykes, although he's uptight and clueless. With Charlie's help is there any way they can be dad and uncle, meet the kids' expectations, and still land the account?
Genre: Comedy, Family
Director(s): Walt Becker
Production: Walt Disney Pictures
  5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.4
Metacritic:
19
Rotten Tomatoes:
5%
PG
Year:
2009
88 min
$49,474,048
Website
332 Views


This walk is exactly

what you need.

You've been coiled up like a spring.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

It's a big meeting, I'd think

you'd be a little nervous.

I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.

Please don't tell the story.

You're a people person,

Charlie, that's wonderful,

but in business meetings you tell

personal items from my life,

- and it embarrasses me.

- Girls, girls, girls!

Hey! Ten miles!

I'm sorry, Lucky.

I think he's too old for sprints.

I can hear his legs clicking.

Those are my knees.

Do you really think I tell

that story for my own amusement?

I do it because it's a sales tool.

Charlie, let's win this account

on our pitch.

It's sports marketing.

You need an edge.

- I don't want to be the edge.

- Hey, mister! Little help!

Sure thing, guys!

Whoa!

- Ow!

- Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Why did you do that?

- My bad! Sorry!

- I didn't mean to.

- You're a monster!

I'm sorry!

You're allergic to anything

under four feet. You're a mess.

- Promise you won't tell the story.

- Fine. I won't tell the story.

OK, you guys want to hear

the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?

- No, don't.

- Please. Come on, Danny.

All right. Seven years ago,

Dan's divorce had just come through

and his ex-wife had

left his heart in tatters.

And his bank account drained.

Tell them that.

He was taking it pretty well.

That's good.

You're taking it like a man!

Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!

- What?

- Oh, God!

People say I saved

my partner's life that day.

So many people get divorced.

And neither one of you wanted kids.

Now that seems like a stroke of genius!

But that didn't console him.

I had to act. I had to do something.

Mr. Good Time is going to

teach you how to live! Yeah!

- Why are there two pieces of luggage?

- Oh, just a little jaunt.

Nothing too wild.

Hey, Mr. Good Times.

You said we'd come to Miami, we did.

Can we go home now?

Whoa!

- Whoa.

- Yeah!

Does this drink

come with a diving board?

It's insane! Just a sip, I think.

So as a best friend, I felt compelled

to give him a gentle reminder

of what it was like to be free.

- I want it to say: "free man!"

- Free man.

Big letters, right across his chest.

"Free man!" Comprende?

Oh. Good night, nurse.

I could have sworn

that guy spoke English.

It was supposed to say "free man."

Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...

Free man!

It's funny, guys.

Come on. They love it.

Then the unexpected happened.

Look at all the babes.

Don't look, don't look. Now look.

Fourteen hours after

signing his divorce papers,

Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.

- Whoa!

- Whoa.

Girl in white,

eleven o'clock.

- Yeah, but...

- Oh, give her the Queen's wave.

- No, the other Queen.

- Oh. Hello.

She was traveling

with a friend.

I thought maybe the friend

was a magician or a jazz dancer,

because of the way

she was moving her hands.

Turns out she's a hand model.

- ... hand model.

- A hand model?

They model with their hands.

So, within minutes,

Dan is back to his old self.

No, scratch that.

He's better than his old self.

Charlie, look at these pictures!

My whole life I've never taken

a good picture.

No matter how

they toss the dice, it had to be

I'd never seen him

so free, OK?

I mean, so impulsive.

He was a changed man.

Or maybe not so changed.

It's hard to explain to a guy

who's never had an impulsive moment

in his life there's

two kinds of impulsives.

The good kind, OK,

but this is plain stupid!

That was so romantic.

But when he woke up, he remembered,

"I was just married 14 painful years

- and I've gone and done it again!"

- Whoops.

To a woman that

he barely knows. His "soul mate."

...soul mate.

- Soul mate!

Soul mate!

They never laugh this much.

So, a few hours later,

my buddy here, my hombre,

is the only guy I know that's been

divorced twice in a 24-hour period.

Now, that's a true story.

Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!

- It was supposed to say "free man."

- But it didn't. It said "Fremont."

It's a big mistake.

It's on his chest forever.

I don't really think that story

honors the feelings I had for her.

No, I'm sorry.

Dan, people love that story.

So just get up there and do

your thing. Because I killed.

Banzai!

Ixnay on the banzai.

Nishamura Media Group

entering the US sports market

is a huge deal.

Now, I know you've met

with larger groups,

but I'm about to show you

why working with a boutique firm

run by two seasoned pros

is a smart move for you.

Forty-seven million dollars

over five years.

Man, you better shape up

on your Japanese,

'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby!

Thank you. This is the kind of

opportunity I've been looking for.

And you will not be sorry.

In college my nickname was "GT."

- That's "Go To." You go to me.

- What's the matter with you?

Biggest deal of our lives

isn't exciting enough for you?

So it's a done deal now?

There are a few small details.

Like next week when Nishamura

and his son come to town

we have to win them over

on the golf course.

- That'll be easy.

- I'm great at golf.

Then, two weeks from now,

we have to make a presentation

- to their executive board of directors.

- Done.

All right, sunshine.

What's really wrong with you?

I was not divorced twice, OK?

One of them was an annulment.

- Look at that face!

- Charlie, don't!

Look at this, Craig.

You know what this face is?

- The face of a winner.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

David Diamond

David Diamond is an American screenwriter. His film credits include The Family Man, Old Dogs, When in Rome, Evolution and the television film Minutemen. Frequently collaborates with David Weissman. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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