Not Another Teen Movie Page #4

Coach reckons we should take a knee.

We're up 42- 0.

I don't care what coach reckons.

You can't go through life

being scared.

If you do, you'll always wonder,

"What if?"

But if you go out there

and you give it your all...

...that's heroic.

Guys, I appreciate this, but--

That's the spirit! Ready?

What are you doing?

Get out of here.

Not here. Down there.

Over here?

What are you doing?

Over here!

Here?

We love you, Marty!

Set, hut!

No. No.

No, don't throw it to me.

No!

- Nice hands, Marty!

- I did it.

- I'm a hero!

- Walk it off!

All right, goddamn it!

Hit the showers, goddamn it!

Bunch of candy-asses.

Lousy practice!

We'll get our asses kicked Friday!

What about fourth-string?

I didn't get to practice.

After all the shenanigans

you pulled last season...

...thank God you're still

in goddamn uniform, goddamn it!

If my parents hear I got detention,

no dessert for a week.

We've disgraced ourselves

and our families.

I sense the morale's a little low.

I say we make a pact...

...right here, right now.

Before the end of the year,

we all get laid!

We always make that pact.

We've been waiting for this

since puberty.

- Two weeks ago!

- I just got first hair on ball.

I don't think you understand.

We'll become the masters of our

sexual destiny.

No longer will our penises remain

flaccid and unused.

No longer steal Grandfather's porn.

No longer will we use blindfolds

when we jerk each other off.

All right, that's it.

What in God's name is going on?

- What was that ruckus?

- I no hear ruckus.

- I heard a ruckus.

- Can you describe this ruckus, sir?

You better watch your tongue,

young man!

We were just sitting here.

You just bought yourself

another detention.

- That's not fair.

- Cry me a river, dickface.

- You bought another one.

- Eat my shorts.

What was that?

Eat my shorts!

- Don't mess with a bull.

- I'm shaking.

- You got another.

- Good!

- You through?

- Not even close, bud.

- Want another one?

- Yes.

- You got it!

- Good.

- Another one. Had enough?

- No.

- Another one.

- So?

- I can keep going.

- Go!

- Eenie, meenie, minie--

- Moe.

- Your mom's a--

- Ho.

- He's a famous clown.

- Bobo.

Mitch, cut it out.

- Another one.

- But I was--

That's another one!

- One more for Ox or for Mitch?

- Another.

- I confused.

- Shut up, Wang Chung.

I got you for the rest of your lives.

You're mine.

Next time, I'm cracking skulls.

How many times have I said

I'm not going to Princeton?

I'm not pressuring you.

Just give it four years.

If you don't like it,

you can work at my firm.

I don't want your life!

That's okay, son.

I heard about what happened

with Priscilla.

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