Not Another Teen Movie

I just hope it doesn't cause any

permanent damage.

- How long have you been here, anyway?

- A while.

- You missed yourprom?

- Yeah.

The thing is, when I made that bet--

There he is. It's Freddie.

He's wearing a tux.

What's up? I met a whole other

person inside ofyou.

There's a whole otherperson

inside ofboth of us.

Would the whole otherperson...

...like to dance?

Yes.

- Morning, sweetie!

- Daddy!

- Why are you in here?

- Why am I in here?

It's her birthday, Dad.

Happy birthday, sweetie.

- What's that buzzing sound?

- I just need a minute, here.

Maybe it's that construction.

Where's my little angel?

Happy birthday, honey.

Grandma? Grandpa?

Rosco!

Rosco, go.

- Hello.

- Father O'Flannagan?

I brought your special friends

from the center!

- Happy birthday!

- Janey's making faces.

It smells in here.

Okay, make a wish, dear.

No.

This isn't a typical high school.

At John Hughes, there are no cliques,

no exclusive social groups.

You're accepted for you,

not who you hang out with.

We'll divide into groups

so you can get to know your peers.

Let's get all you jocks

in one group...

...and get you slutty girls

over here by me.

Hey, how you doing?

Welcome.

You losers should

hang out in the back.

That clearly includes you.

Come on, get back there.

Take a look at the kid

standing beside you.

They're your only friends

for the next four years.

Okay, let's move it, people!

- You need to start dating.

- I don't date. You know that.

Janey, you know Dad's rule.

I can't have sex before you.

I don't conform to

typical high-school norms.

I read Sylvia Plath,

listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.

- I'm a unique rebel.

- More like you're a lesbo.

Mitch, leave your sister alone.

Thank you, Daddy.

If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,

that's her decision.

Go! Fight! Win!

Nice combination, Crissy!

I've been meaning to get that fixed.

Later, Dad.

I'll be late to pick you up.

Why? A job interview?

No, honey.

I'll probably just be way too drunk.

That's good.

No drinking and driving.

Oh, I'll be driving.

I'll just be too drunk to remember.

Okay. Bye, Daddy.

Bye, pumpkin-head.

- Oh, my God!

- Get out of the road!

Oh, my God, it's Jake.

- Hi, stud.

- Hi, Jake.

- I love that thing with his eyebrows.

- Those sideburns.

Oh, my God, there's Jake.

He's so popular.

He just looked at me.

- Here. You can keep it.

- Tiff.

Hi, Jake. It's all wet.

Melanie.

Hey, Jake.

Hey, Arthur.

Here's Ricky!

Hey, Ricky.

How was your weekend?

Friday night I stood

outside your window in the rain...

...screaming your name.

Then I spent Saturday and Sunday

making you this great...

...l've-been-desperately-trying-

to-tell-you-that...

...l'm-madly-in-love-with-you...

...mix tape for your birthday.

A mix tape?

That's so sweet, Ricky.

See you in English.

Catch you guy later.

What happening?

Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending

to be Asian, and shit.

That cracker is white!

Can't he see that, yo?

Did you get any action this weekend?

- I visit grandfather.

- I played with my sisters.

We're pathetic.

How will we ever lose our virginity

by graduation?

- We're freshmen.

- What's with the attitude?

- Not easy to get lucky here.

- Girls are sensitive.

They're not looking for sex.

They're looking for love.

Love me! Harder!

Amanda Becker.

She is so perfect.

Keep dreaming.

What's up, Reggie Ray?

I can't wait until Friday's game.

What about your head? You have

a blood clot the size of a grapefruit.

Five more concussions and you'll die.

You should take it easy.

- Don't listen to him.

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