Norbit Page #3

Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho, ho!

It was a love that sustained us

through the years.

Halt!

And it's still going strong.

Happy Presidents' Day!

God bless America.

And so, we began our life together,

like any other happily married couple.

Morning, Rasputia.

"Morning, Rasputia," my ass.

I tell you what. You better do something

about that goddamn dog,

because I ain't gonna be

getting terrorized

by no dog on my own property.

I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out

and purchase me a pellet rifle!

And then I'm gonna give him

something to bark about

when I start popping pellets

in his little bugeyed bastard's ass.

Messing around with you,

now I'm gonna be late for dance class.

God damn it, Norbit.

How many times I got to tell you, when

you drive my car, don't adjust my seat!

I haven't touched your seat.

Then why is it up so damn far?

It looks like it's back

as far as it goes, Rasputia.

No, you moved it. I can tell, 'cause look,

when I inhale,

my titty make the horn honk. Listen.

You see that?

That ain't right.

I hear it.

That scientifically prove

that you was adjusting my seat.

That's not science.

It is. Now just let it go.

It's not science.

I said let it go.

I'm just...

I said it was science, God damn it.

Why you think I want to sell

Golden Wonton Restaurant?

I got a good business.

It practically run itself.

I make a lot of money here.

Every man got a price.

We think this might be yours.

And here is my counteroffer.

Excuse me.

All right, it's go time.

I not like rest of town people.

I not intimidated by Latimore.

You wrong, Wong. Relax, man.

Be cool with that thing, Mr. Wong.

Ling Ling, get my pistol!

That dude is crazy.

Let's get the hell out of here!

I never sell to Latimore! Ever! Ever!

All right! Y'all ready, class?

Are y'all ready?

We gonna perforate!

We gonna penetrate!

We gonna percolate!

We gonna palpitate!

All because we wanna master the bate,

the art of powertap the fat.

Come on, and powertap the fat.

Take that, powertap the fat.

Hey, you get your skinny ass

out of my way.

One, two, three, four.

I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.

One, two, three, four.

Ride the horse. Ride the horse!

Keep bucking, y'all!

Keep bucking! And slide!

Click clackety clack! Come on, slide!

Click clackety clack! Just slide!

Here come the cops.

Here come the cops.

They take me to jail.

They take me to jail.

Riverdance. Come on, white people.

Riverdance. Come on, white people.

Riverdance. Come on.

Now, pump, pump, pump, pump,

pump me up.

Pump, pump, pump, pump,

pump me down.

And one, two, three, four, five, six,

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