Neighbors Page #5

Synopsis: One man's quiet suburban life takes a sickening lurch for the worse when a young couple move into the deserted house next door. From the word go it is obvious these are not the quiet professional types who *should* be living in such a nice street. As more and more unbelievable events unfold, our hero starts to question his own sanity... and those of his family.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): John G. Avildsen
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
63%
R
Year:
1981
94 min
578 Views


Enid, I'm the same man

you've known for 16 years.

I know.

What the hell's going on around here?

He comes waltzing in

and you say, "Hi, Vic."

- How did you know his name?

- He came over this afternoon.

I didn't have a chance to tell you.

- You could've told me in the car.

- You know we never talk in the car.

Today you could've made an exception.

That house next door is empty

for six months and you meet...

...the new occupants before I do,

and you don't say anything?

- Enid, am I being unreasonable?

- Pass the wine.

Did you tell me everybody

you met today?

I didn't meet anyone today.

I never meet anyone.

A new neighbour's

a bit different, isn't it?

A new neighbour whose unit

we can stare at.

- I wasn't staring at his unit.

- I saw you, Enid.

I don't care what other wives do,

only the one I'm married to.

I know when a woman's

checking out a man's unit.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, Vic's wife, that Ramona.

She did it to me, practically

unzipped my fly with her eyes.

And you hated it, right?

How many stiff nips

did you check out at the office today?

I know you, Earl, your eyes

never sit still for a minute.

Why'd you give their dog our steak?

I saw you, behind my back.

I was afraid you wouldn't approve.

You were afraid right,

I can tell you that.

What could I do?

Vic asked me

to look after Baby for a while.

But steak? Jesus, why didn't you

stuff money into his mouth?

And 32 bucks for this load of crap?

It's his money.

Baby! Oh, my God! Baby!

Get that thing away from that thing!

What happened?

Baby was over by that thing

taking a leak.

Jesus Christ.

Come, Baby. Come.

Come here. Come here.

He's all right.

Sweetie, where's the truck?

Maybe that thing got our truck

like Earl got me.

Relax with that stuff. Our boy here

has been through enough.

We really had you going there.

Ramona's such an imp.

We were just kind of putting you on

at supper. Like a little joke.

A joke? You call accusing me

of porking Ramona a joke?

Oh, what's the matter with you, Earl?

Can't you take a joke?

Let's go, Ramona, come in the house.

It's Friday night. I'll buy you a drink.

Yeah, I can take a joke, Enid!

- Can you take a joke, Vic?

- Any joke you dish up.

- Oh, yeah?

- Well, try me.

- I sank your truck.

- What?

I didn't mean to. I lost control after

I moved the brick from under your tire.

You touched my brick?

I told you I had no brakes.

I borrowed your car for the takeout.

- But you didn't go for takeout.

- Where's my truck and my airplane?

It's down in the swamp.

I'll go get my jacket.

We'll get your jacket later.

You just take me to...

...the swamp.

Give me the light, I'll lead the way.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Larry Gelbart

Larry Simon Gelbart (February 25, 1928 – September 11, 2009) was an American television writer, playwright, screenwriter, director and author, most famous as a creator and producer of the television series M*A*S*H, and as co-writer of Broadway musicals City of Angels and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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