Neighbors Page #3

Synopsis: One man's quiet suburban life takes a sickening lurch for the worse when a young couple move into the deserted house next door. From the word go it is obvious these are not the quiet professional types who *should* be living in such a nice street. As more and more unbelievable events unfold, our hero starts to question his own sanity... and those of his family.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): John G. Avildsen
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Rotten Tomatoes:
63%
R
Year:
1981
94 min
572 Views


- Don't worry, I will.

They spoil him awfully.

I want him to have every advantage

I was denied as a young dog.

Well, here are your keys, Mr. Keese.

Let's dig into this stuff

before the sauce turns into penicillin.

Why don't you look for Ramona.

- Me?

- Finders keepers, Earl. After all...

...I know what goes on out here

in the suburbs.

That's why we moved here.

Oh, Vic.

- What do you think, Earl?

- Don't do that. You are outrageous.

Too bad about Vic's truck, Earl.

Well, I was just pushing it

into my garage...

...to hide it from him, you know,

kind of a joke.

- It was an accident.

- It could happen to anybody.

I think 1500 should take care of it.

Fifteen hundred? Dollars?

It was just a joke. I mean, I'm sure

your insurance will cover most of it...

...and I'll pay the deductible.

What is it, 100 or so?

For the truck.

Keeping me quiet is a little extra.

I don't believe it.

You're blackmailing me.

Hey, what are neighbours for?

Oh, make it cash.

Hey, come on in, buddy.

Help yourself.

Well, here we all are.

To Vic and Ramona.

For bringing a breath of fresh air

to our neighbourhood.

May we have many, many years

of your lovely company.

Do they have any country fairs here?

Where they do things like see

which bull has the biggest balls?

This isn't really country. It's more

a suburban bedroom community.

The locals are in service trades.

They're not farmers.

Maybe we can measure their balls.

Or we could start with yours,

if you like.

Good, is it?

- Delicious.

- I must call Caesar's...

...and compliment the chef.

Tell me, were they crowded

this evening?

- What?

- Caesar's.

Friday night, the only place in town.

Bet they were turning them away

in droves.

Okay, you probably

called the place...

...and found out they're not open

for business yet, right?

Right.

So does that make me a liar?

Maybe I got there,

saw the place was closed...

...and went somewhere else

to pick up the food.

Where? Everything's shut at this hour.

Everything.

- And the wine?

- What's the matter?

Vic brings a wonderful dinner

and you give him the third degree.

I don't mind.

There's no mystery about it.

You know Valley Field Mall on Route 3?

Across from the Cinema Cineplex?

There's a small spaghetti and wine

dealership there.

Next to the Singer Sewing Centre.

That's where you got it?

That's right.

Well, to begin with,

Valley Field Mall is closed.

When it was open, it was

on Route 15, not Route 3.

And there can't be

a small spaghetti dealership...

...next to the Singer Centre

across from the cineplex...

...because there is no cineplex

and there is no Singer Sewing Centre.

All right, I can deceive you no longer.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Larry Gelbart

Larry Simon Gelbart (February 25, 1928 – September 11, 2009) was an American television writer, playwright, screenwriter, director and author, most famous as a creator and producer of the television series M*A*S*H, and as co-writer of Broadway musicals City of Angels and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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