Neds Page #3

You fat slag!

Come down here, right now!

Right now!

Fat b*tch.

Now...as you can see,

I've written the marks

in the top right-hand corner.

Now some of you,

if not indeed most of you,

might assume that

these are marks out of 10

and thus think that

you have done rather well.

But, in fact,

these are marks out of 100.

And you have embarrassed

yourselves.

One pupil, however, has embarrassed

himself more than all the others.

Stand up, Mr McGill.

Now before you all sharpen

your adolescent claws,

let me tell you

that the source of this young man's

embarrassment...

...lies not in failure

but in a shining success.

100 out of 100. Full marks.

Now, this shall no doubt,

result in you singling

Mr McGill out as a swot.

So, I have decided to take it

upon myself to get it in first.

You are a swot, Mr McGill.

You have the temerity

to exercise your intelligence

and thus rise above

the mediocrity of your peers.

Come on. Up you get.

Take your place upon the podium,

up here, on the upper level. Please.

An example to you all, boys.

Mr McGill...l salute you.

Round of applause for Mr McGill.

- All right. That's enough.

- Arsehole.

Any of those snowballs hit me, you'll

get a toe right up your arse.

Youse have been warned.

Oi! What one of youse two

threw that?

What's your name?

Right, listen up. I have averaged out

your various class marks.

Top of the class with 87%...

...Liam McCole.

Well done, McCole.

Second is 85%...

- ...John McGill.

- Yes!

Sit down, McGill.

Try and curb your enthusiasm.

- I thought I was going next door, sir.

- Sit down!

You could show your classmates

a little bit more respect.

Despite what you may think,

they have also worked hard

these last few months.

Third place, with 80%,

Stephen McLaughlin.

Fourth with 79%, Dean Walker.

Fifth, with 75%, Lloyd Butler.

Also with 75%...

Mitchell, Brown.

McCole, McGill.

Take your seats.

And stop your crying.

Why, whenever a boy is sent

to this class, he seems to think

he's in the beginning of a never-ending

downward spiral to failure?

Now I'm starting to take this personally!

I am just as good as any other teacher

in this or any other bloody school.

You don't know you're born.

You could have had, like me,

an education with the nuns...

Wait! Before you all...

Wait, shut up. Shut your mouth!

Before you all go away,

here, book tokens.

Third place...

...McKendrick. There we go.

Second place, Engels.

There you go.

And first, McGill.

All right, now you can go.

On your way. Enjoy your summers.

John, wait there, please.

Have fun.

You did very well this year.

Thank you, sir.

- Going on holiday with your family?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes