Nature Calls Page #2
RANDY:
As a special surprisefor tonight's meeting
and for the cam pout this weekend,
yours truly managed to procure
the founder and scoutmaster
of this very troop,
my father and scoutmaster,
Stuart Stevens!
[ Applause]
Where's your uniform, Kent?
Mommy says I don't have to wear
that bullshit outfit if I don't want to.
Okay. First off, it's not bullshit,
and secondly, you have to wear it
if you're gonna go
camping this weekend.
KENT:
Screw camping!Especially in that crap-ass
church parking lot.
Why are you a scout, Kent?
For my rsum.
You got a rsum?
Yes. Do you?
I can't go this weekend either.
What? Tibbits, no.
This is for your Lifesaving badge
advancement.
My mom said I should
go to a sleepover instead.
Sorry, Randy. I'm not going neither.
- Gary!
- Prior obligations.
What kind of obligations you got?
Slumber party.
Guys, camping is a slumber party.
magic tricks tonight?
No. No. Dismissed.
TIBBITS:
Wait. We can go home early?
Yes! Go! All right?
Troop dismissed!
All right, Randy, take a breath.
This is ridiculous, you know?
I know that camping in the parking lot
is lame, okay?
I know that,
but these moms! It's...
They won't let the kids
more than five miles from the house.
Gary's mom insists he has at least
three bars of cell phone service
You know, when Stuart started this troop,
he had 90 scouts.
What about
Yeah, what about your nephew?
Why doesn't he come?
My brothefs not into it.
Have you showed them
the recruitment video?
I don't want to
show them that video.
Randy, first
you sell the kids on this,
then you get the kids to sell the dads.
It's called up-selling.
Double teaming.
EDDIE:
You gotta think like a CEO, man.
We shouldn't
have to show them this video.
They should want to do it!
Hey, look, they're kids, man.
You gotta sell them on stuff.
That's how it works. You gotta do
the yickety-yickety-yickety, man.
Or otherwise, I'm gonna
tell you something, Randy,
we might as well just go ahead
and do something else, okay?
We are taking
my father camping.
Randy. Randy, chill, all right?
Just take a break, right?
Re-evaluate, man.
We're going camping.
We are not abandoning you.
We're going if it's just us and him
in the parking lot!
Right. Right. Right.
So you tell me,
without the boys,
how is that scouting, man?
[police show gunfire blaring on TV]
KIRK:
Ah, you've gotta be kidding me, man!
- GENTRY:
Cheap!- So obviously fake.
- Totally fake.
KIRK:
Every time you see a guy
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