Napoleon Dynamite Page #3

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drinking whole if you wanted to.

Well, I have all

your equipment in my locker.

You should probably come get it 'cause

I can't fit my nunchakus in there anymore.

Where's your locker?

Hey, can I have

one of your key chains?

[All]

Whoo!

[Laughing]

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo!

[Cellphone Ringing]

- [Cellphone Beeps]

- Hello?

Napoleon, give me

some of your Tots.

- No, go find your own.

- Come on. Give me some of your Tots.

No. I'm freakin' starved.

I didn't get to eat anything today.

[Groans]

G--

Gross.

Freakin' idiot!

[Sighs]

Tina, come get some ham.

[Grunts]

[Vehicle Approaching]

[Sighs]

What are you doing here,

Uncle Rico?

Your grandma took a little spill at

the sand dunes today, broke her coccyx.

What? Since when

does she go to the dunes?

Looks like there's a lot

you don't know about her.

[Tina Grunts]

- So, when's Grandma coming back?

- I don't know.

Not sure.

You don't have to stay here

with us. We're not babies.

[Laughs]

Talk to your Auntie Caroline.

Well, Kip is, like,

32 years old.

I don't mind

if you stay.

Oh. Thanks, Kip.

What the flip was Grandma

doin' at the sand dunes?

She was on a date...

with her boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Hey, you guys

want to see my video?

[Chuckles]

So, what do you think?

- It's pretty cool, I guess.

- Oh.

Man, I wish I could

go back in time.

I'd take state.

This is pretty much

the worst video ever made.

Napoleon, like anyone

can even know that.

You know what, Napoleon?

You can leave.

You guys are retarded.

Hah!

Hey, check that out.

So, you and Tammy

still together?

No. Not really.

- Why is that?

- Well...

she's jealous.

Says I'm livin'

too much in '82.

Well, I dumped her.

What about your girlfriend?

Well, things are gettin'

pretty serious right now.

I mean, we chat online for,

like, two hours every day...

so I guess you could say

things are gettin' pretty serious.

I'm just really tryin' to raise a few bucks right

now so I can bring her around for a few days.

Yep. Well, what's she look like?

She's, uh--

She's got sandy blonde hair.

She's, uh, pretty-look--

pretty good-looking

face, but...

I'm just gettin' really--

just kinda T.O.'d...

because, I mean, she hasn't even

sent me a full body shot yet.

Hey, you know...

I got a little project...

that we might be able to

make a little moola with.

Really? That sounds pretty good.

Have you ever heard of

nylon polymer?

Go for it.

[Doorbell Rings]

Back in '82, I used to be able

to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

- Are you serious?

- I'm dead serious.

Watch this.

[Groans]

What the heck

are you doing?

That's what I'm talkin' about.

I better go.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

How much you want to make a bet I can

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