Napoleon Dynamite

Synopsis: Preston, Idaho's most curious resident, Napoleon Dynamite, lives with his grandma and his 32-year-old brother (who cruises chat rooms for ladies) and works to help his best friend, Pedro, snatch the Student Body President title from mean teen Summer Wheatley.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Jared Hess
Production: Fox Searchlight Pictures
  10 wins & 22 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
96 min

[Birds Chirping]

## [Folk Pop]

## [Continues]

## [Continues]

## [Continues]

## [Continues]

## [Stops]

[Birds Chirping]


[Vehicle Approaching]

What are you gonna do

today, Napoleon?

Whatever I feel like

I want to do. Gosh!

[Bell Rings]


Your current event, Napoleon.

Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced"--

placed explosive detonators

at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness...

to blow Nessie

out of the water.

[Girl Chuckles]

Sir Curt Godfrey

of the Nessie Alliance...

summoned the help of

Scotland's local wizards...

to cast a protective spell over the lake

and its local residents...

and all those who seek for

the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.



Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do

all last summer again?

I told you. I spent it with my uncle

in Alaska hunting wolverines.

- Did you shoot any?

- Yes, like 50 of 'em.

They kept tryin' to attack my cousins. What

the heck would you do in a situation like that?

- What kind of gun did you use?

- A frickin' 12-gauge. What do you think?

You think you're funny?

Just watch your step.

- But I didn't--

- [Indistinct]


[Phone Ringing In Distance]

Hey, could I use your guys's

phone for a sec?

- Is there anything wrong?

- I don't feel very good.

[Line Ringing]

[Phone Ringing]

- Hi.

- Is Grandma there?

No, she's getting

her hair done.


- What do you need?

- Can you just go get her for me?

- I'm really busy right now.

- Well, just tell her to come get me.

- Why?

- 'Cause I don't feel good.

- Well, have you talked to the school nurse?

- No, she doesn't know anything.

- Will you just come get me?

- No.

Well, will you do me

a favor then?

- What?

- Can you bring me my ChapStick?

- No, Napoleon.

- But my lips hurt real bad.

Just borrow some from the school nurse.

I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.

I'm not gonna use hers,

you sicko.

- See ya.

- [Dial Tone]



[Woman On P.A.]

David Dempke, please come to the office.

[Woman On P.A.]

David Dempke, please come to the office.

- David Dempke.

- [Man] You do understand English?

This isn't that complex.

Look, the cafeteria's down the hall...

to the right and downstairs.

Hey, is that a new kid

or something?

Napoleon, this is Pedro.

Would you mind showing him

where his locker is?

Sure. Come on.

You know, there's, like,

a buttload of gangs at this school.

This one gang kept wanting me to join

'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff.

Do you ride the bus

to school?

No. I ride my bike.

- What kind of bike do you have?

- It's a Sledgehammer.


You got shocks, pegs.


You ever take it off

any sweet jumps?

[Dog Barking]

You got, like,

three feet of air that time.

Can I try it really quick?


Dang it!


I love the way...

your sandy hair...

floats in the air.

To me it's like a lullaby.

I'm just flying by,

oh, so high...

like a kite

tied to a stake.



How was school?

The worst day of my life.

What do you think?

- Well, I want you to go see

if Tina wants some of this.

- [Fly Buzzing]


Kip hasn't done

flipping anything today.

Look, tonight me and your--

Kip, listen!


Tonight me and your aunt are

gonna go visit some friends...

and we're not gonna

be back till tomorrow.

We're gettin' low on steak, so I got Lyle

comin' over tomorrow to take care of it.

- Well, what's there to eat?

- Knock it off, Napoleon.

Make yourself a dang


- Fine!

- [Keys Jingling]

I'll be back tomorrow.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes

Jared Hess

All Jared Hess scripts | Jared Hess Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Napoleon Dynamite" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 6 Jun 2023. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Napoleon Dynamite


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.