Naked Page #4

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All right.

See, now that woman

deserves a great wedding.

Yes, she does.

- You got a lot on your plate, Rob.

- Yeah.

- You sure you don't wanna stay in?

- Is the wedding tonight?

No.

One drink won't kill us.

(church bells ring)

Bye-bye, love

(pounding)

(groaning)

- (pounding)

- (mumbles)

Please!

Christ, for the love of God,

stop building sh*t!

(man) Hey, did you hear that?

(gasps)

(man) Hang on, buddy! I'm coming!

(pounding)

What in the hell?

(man) All right. I think we got it.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, no, we don't.

No, we don't got it.

Guys! I'm gonna need

just a little more time in here!

Everybody...

Everybody, y'all just take the next one!

Ocupado! Ocupado!

(elevator bell dings)

Finally!

(crowd gasps)

Oh! Oh!

You know what? Screw it.

I've been waiting for 20 minutes.

Are you in or out, guy?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

(man laughing)

(gasps)

Hi. Hi.

(woman) Hi.

- Hi.

- Excuse me, sir, you're naked.

Yeah. Um, listen, I need a room key.

I'm sorry,

but I didn't hear what you said.

I'm trying not to look at your junk.

(Rob) Okay, I need a room key.

- Thank you.

- Please.

- Oh, thank you.

- Name?

Rob Anderson.

I don't see your reservation.

Check under Swope.

Nothing under Swope, either.

- I'm in room 412.

- No, you're not.

- (stammers) Wait. Please, don't do that.

- Get security.

Listen, can I just use your phone, please?

Please?

Thank you. You are an angel.

Why should I feel

Discouraged?

- Why should the shadows...

- (cell phone vibrating)

This is Benny.

Hey, listen, I need you

to come downstairs to the lobby

and tell Cadbury McPocketsquare

that we have eight rooms in the hotel.

You're still at the hotel?

Yeah, where are you?

I am at the church.

You're at the what?

Boy, you did not go

to my wedding without me!

Dude, you weren't in your room, man.

I know, because I was stuck

in an elevator!

Wait, what?

Listen, I just need you

to come down here and get me

before everybody notices I'm gone.

Hey, Rob, I got something to tell you,

and I don't think you're gonna be

too jazzed up about it.

Did you pick up the programs?

Okay, two things.

Come on, Benny. I only gave you one job!

Dude, they weren't open, man.

So I kind of just came on down

to the church,

and the ceremony

kind of just started, man.

- No, no, it didn't.

- Yes, it did.

Look, I'm not saying it's ruined.

- Only half the guests have left so far.

- (groans)

But the mood up in here

is like menopause and PMS had a baby.

All right?

Plus, your mom over there playing...

I sing

Because I'm free

just a bunch of gospel songs.

No, tell me you're lying.

Man, look, she played "Amazing Grace"...

Oh, no!

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