Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie Page #5

Sure. A snap, maestro.

Only, uh, where do we start?

Right here.

At goofy clown face.

Industry, science and

technology!

Big men putting

screwdrivers into things...

turning them, and adjusting them!

Build your own

atom storage box!

Bringing you state-of-the-art

in soft serve technology!

Pulls off caps of any size jug,

bottle, or jar!

And it really,

really works.

You know what

my kids would say:

- You're not my real father!

- "Dig this crazy, mixed-up plumbing."

Plug it in, Joe.

We'll see what happens.

He doesn't even have kids.

Poor, deluded Joe.

Oh, please, say we can get the Sci-Fi

channel. Please, oh please, oh please...

Look at this. Uh.

Comes with a Garth Brooks CD.

- Now what do I do?

- Clear your screen, please.

Okaay, Dr. Goofy!

You... can hear me?

- Of course.

- Duh.

Use the intensifier disk,

the one in your hand.

Any time, Einstein!

Place it in position

on your right.

Now, throw it at

Joe really hard!

This... tss... uh...

thing... goes on the what's-this here.

Now turn the control

18 degrees to the left.

17. One more. Wait, back.

Oh! Well, that works too.

It's the amazing Technicolor

cheese wedge!

Nanoo nanoo!

You have successfully accomplished

your task, Dr. Meacham.

You've assembled an interocitor,

a feat of which few men are capable.

- Who are you?

- I'm called Exeter.

Doug Exeter.

I'm a scientist, like yourself.

Shall we say a... a colleague.

My colleagues don't materialize out of

strange machines. They're flesh and blood.

And so am I, Dr. Meacham,

as I hope you'll soon find out.

- Grrr. Grrr. - ...although I admit

at the moment, I do appear immaterial.

But no matter.

I represent a group which is seeking

scientists of exceptional ability.

Do you know any?

All prospects must pass an aptitude test,

which you've just done.

- Damn... where do I control... damn, jees.

- ...only I don't remember applying for any job.

You didn't

I beg your pardon, Mr. Wilson.

Your camera will pick up

nothing but black fog.

Oh, it's a Goldstar!

Images on the interocitor

don't register on film.

- Put it away, Joe.

- Go lie down.

To continue,

Dr. Meacham,

We test out people without their knowledge.

We leave nothing to chance.

Except the chance that I'm

not interested in you or your group.

Come, come, doctor. It's not possible

that a man of your scientific curiosity...

wouldn't want to find out

who I am, where I come from,

If I have pants on.

Wouldn't give his right arm for more

examples of our superior technical knowledge.

I think I can assume, Dr. Meacham,

that you're sufficiently...

intrigued to come to an immediate decision.

We'd like you to join our... team,

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