Mystery Men Page #6

FURIOUS:

Doesn't it piss you off the way the when you

really want to talk to somebody you can't think

of anything to say!

MONICA:

I guess... Are you always so angry?

FURIOUS:

Only when I'm awake... You busy after work?

She shrugs.

FURIOUS:

Want to go out and get drunk?

She's visibly turned off by that.

FURIOUS:

Or talk?

MONICA:

Not tonight.

(picks up an order and walks away)

EXT. OUTSIDE THE DINER - LATER

Furious, the Raja, and the Shoveler step out.

RAJA:

Maybe you should try a more romantic approach.

FURIOUS:

(gets on his old Harley)

Like what? Cutting off my own ear?

RAJA:

Or flowers.

FURIOUS:

See ya tomorrow.

Furious kicks his engine started and speeds off into the night as the

Shoveler opens the door of his battered Ford Esquire station wagon, and

the Raja gets into his ancient Datsun.

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT

The Shoveler pulls into the driveway of his very modest house. The

front yard looks like a battle zone. Bikes and kids' junk are

everywhere.

LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER

as big a disaster area as the front yard. His kids, EDDIE JR. (15),

LENORE (12), BUTCH (10), TRACY (7), and ROLAND (5) are all sprawled in

front of the television. The Shoveler enters, and his kids don't even

bother to look up from the tube.

SHOVELER:

Hey, when are you guys gonna clean this place

up?

TRACY:

When you're on TV.

EDDIE JR.

Right--like that will ever happen.

LENORE:

Save any babies lately?

ON THE SHOVELER, silent, hurt.

TRACY:

Faster than a speeding turtle--

BUTCH:

More powerful than a deodorant--

EDDIE JR.

Able to eat twelve donuts in a single sitting--

LENORE:

Look, snoring in his chair--

EDDIE JR.

Sitting on the john--

ALL:

It's... Supergut!

The kids all laugh (in that derisive way that kids do so well) as the

Shoveler dejectedly walks into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - A MOMENT LATER

The Shoveler enters, dejected. His wife, Lucille, is doing the dishes.

She looks up, sees him.

LUCILLE:

(feels for him)

Rough night, Eddie?

He nods.

EXT. THE RAJA'S HOUSE - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

The Raja's Datsun is parked in front of a neat as a pin little

Victorian house.

INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The room is dark. Someone is sneaking around. A drawer is quietly

opened, and we hear the gentle clink of silver. Suddenly, the light

goes on and we see the Blue Raja, now dressed in a sport shirt and

slacks, with his hand in the drawer. His MOTHER, in her nightclothes,

stands by the door where she has just switched on the light.

MOTHER:

Jeffrey!

RAJA:

Oh hi, Mom.

MOTHER:

What are you doing in the silver drawer?

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