Mystery Men Page #4

Our three heroes try to approach Captain Amazing (who still looks fresh

as a daisy).

RAJA:

Nice work, Captain.

But Amazing just walks past them, ignoring them completely, as if they

didn't even exist. He goes to greet DAWN WONG (Champion City's answer

to Connie Chung).

AMAZING:

(turning on the old superhero charm)

Hi. Dawn.

DAWN:

(putty in his hands, pudding in his bowl)

Looks like you've done it again, Captain.

AMAZING:

It's what I do.

Our heroes just watch, feeling ignored, humiliated. Furious growls.

Suddenly, TWO COPS are accosting them.

COP 1

Okay, show's over. Move it. On your way.

RAJA:

Wait a minute, Officers. You don't understand--

we're superheroes, and we just busted up this

gang.

COP 1

Really? Let me guess-you're Towel Head and

he's...

(meaning the Shoveler)

Captain Pooper Scooper!

The cops crack up. Furious growls at them. The cops yank out their

nightsticks.

COP 1

Hey! Move it!

COP 2

Get a life!

COP 1

And leave crime fighting to the real thing!

Shoveler and Raja pull Furious away before he gets into real trouble...

The cops watch as our three heroes disappear into the night.

COP 1

Wannabes.

COP 2

Pathetic.

EXT. THE LAKESIDE DINER - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

An inner city greasy spoon.

INT. THE DINER - CONTINUOUS - CLOSE ON A TV SCREEN

on which Captain Amazing, the laughing baby in his arms, is being

interviewed by Dawn Wong. He's playing the cutsy photo op for all its

worth, gootchy-gooing the kid, etc. Dawn is creaming.

Our three heroes sit at a booth in the back of the diner, watching the

tube...

RAJA:

(nursing a sore jaw)

He doesn't miss a trick, does he?

FURIOUS:

What a jerk--and like nobody knows who he really is!

SHOVELER:

Oh don't start that again--

FURIOUS:

LOOK!

Furious picks up the newspaper on which there is a photo of a good

looking guy in a tux at a benefit... The headline reads "Lance Hunt

Hosts Benefit." He holds the picture up next to the television, so the

faces of Lance Hunt and Captain Amazing are side by side. It is

obviously the same guy.

FURIOUS:

He's Lance Hunt! Just take off the glasses--

and it's him!

RAJA:

There's a vague similarity.

FURIOUS:

A vague similarity? IT'S THE SAME GUY!

SHOVELER:

(downing some aspirin)

0h, who gives a damn who he is? I can't take

this anymore. Night after night we're on the

streets, busting our humps--and for what?

RAJA:

We take the licks and he gets the chicks.

SHOVELER:

How long do you have to chase a dream before

you realize it's not gonna happen?

FURIOUS:

We need a break, that's all! Nobody'd ever

heard of him until he busted Casanova

Frankenstein!

RAJA:

But look at him... and look at us.

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