Mystery, Alaska Page #5

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they prefer coaching to playing.

Why would they

all say that?

Because they can't play.

So why'd you wanna come?

You never wanna come when I plough.

- Well, um, could you pull over?

- Sure.

What...

What are you doing?

Um...

I thought, um...

I think we should celebrate

you making the team.

N- Now? Here?

I don't know where else

to do it.

I got a condom too.

- So...

- Marla.

With you on the team, Stevie,

a lot of girls are gonna be,

you know, after you.

I don't wanna lose you toJody Lange

just 'cause she gives.

Marla.

I'm not gonna leave you

on account of not having sex.

I love you.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Oh!

Oh, I'm-I'm...

I'm sorry.

That's okay. That's...

That's okay.

L...

Does this mean we're done?

I'm-I'm sorry.

I must have...

That's okay.

It's okay, Stevie.

Hey, Sarah, sorry to be calling on you

so late, but have you heard?

- The Rangers?

- Yeah.

Yeah, good news makes

the compass point north.

How about a quick rattle?

After you, Skank.

"Mother walrus going

thwap, thwap, thwap"?

- What?

- You wanna hear a thwap?

Women don't like being referred to

as fat mammals, Skank.

I never would've said that

to her face.

- Are you gonna arrest me?

- Do you want me to?

Well, if it's all over what he said, I'd

just as soon it'd be all over that I hit him.

It will be.

You gonna let the kids keep the school?

We gotta have a new rink, Donna.

You want one of those goddamn

TV trucks to fall through the ice?

Plus we need new boards, lights,

and they're sending us a Zamboni.

Oh, a Zamboni.

Gettin' wet just thinking about it.

Jesus!

- Donna. Hey.

- Hey.

- Hi. How you doin'?

- Hi. Good.

- How are you?

- I'm good.

- You ran out before I could say hi last night.

- I know. Hi.

Hi.

God, you look good.

How can you look this good? What do

you have, like nine children now?

All right, well,

we're not the Partridge Family.

- Three kids.

- I know how many kids you have.

So, you're a producer, huh?

Yeah, well,

associate producer.

What's a producer do?

Uh, well,

I'm-I'm doing it.

- Really?

- Yes, I'm liaising with the locals.

I see.

And the helicopter was...

Well, you know, it's the kind of news

you wanna deliver in person, you know,

and I can't help it if it impressed

the hell out of you.

So, uh...

Well, so did it?

Do I look impressed?

You look good.

Your Honor,

at this time I'd be asking the court

to dismiss the charges...

on the grounds of patriotism.

I'm not in the mood,

Mr. Pruitt.

If Price World

did come here...

with the one-stop shopping

and the low, low prices,

it would threaten to put every merchant

in this town out of business,

as it has in so many communities

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