My Stepmother Is an Alien Page #6

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-Of course.

What is sex?

-What?

-"What?" You heard what I said.

What is sex?

Give me a second.

One second. Take a look at this.

Deleted.

What good is deleted?

Now, don't get excited. Just a second.

One little second. Here it is.

Your penis is a weapon.

Just like your rifle.

The military expects you to protect it

and keep it dry.

All right, men, if you'll open your manuals.

-What? Is that it?

-Take it easy.

Here's something else.

What does this mean,

Debbie Does Dallas?

Debbie Does Des Moines.

Debbie Does Dsseldorf.

Busy girl, that Debbie.

What's this?

Look behind you.

I can do that. I guess.

I don't believe it.

Why, that's disgusting.

I can't, that right there.

Look, that's the most weirdest thing

I've ever seen.

That's why we gave it up

You think I could do that?

Sure. Except for fuel

you're human inside and out.

But do you want to?

The kissing wasn't so bad.

You're not leaving me here!

Yes, I am.

I have been ordered to stay with you

at all times, to observe everything you do!

Forget it.

B*tch!

My God, you're beautiful.

Are you all right?

Yes, don't stop.

Do you see....

Dr. Steve, that was so wonderful.

I feel like I've been hit by a train.

And I don't think you need to call me

Dr. Steve anymore.

Steve, you're so stupid. We could have

been doing this the whole time.

We only met three hours ago.

I know. What took you so long?

Do others know about this?

About us? I don't see how they could.

No, about making love.

You could become very famous if

others in the world knew you could do this.

-Really?

-Yes.

Didn't think I did it any differently

than anybody else.

You mean everybody does this?

Think of all the energy produced.

Properly channelled that energy could

propel half your people out of the galaxy.

We did some computer runs in the lab...

...and figured if we could harness

the energy output from...

...the male members of the Sheen family

we could put the state of lllinois on Pluto.

I really don't think I can

do this again so soon.

Yes, you can.

-Celeste?

-What?

Celeste, why me?

Because you're sensitive...

...and you're an outsider...

...and you worked so hard

to get through M.l.T....

...and you have two Ph.D.'s

and a delightful innocence.

Just all the qualities of a dreamer.

I know you had some really bad luck

five years ago when...

...your wife died and left you

with a daughter, Jessie, 13.

That's who the short person was.

Wait a minute.

Where'd you get all those details?

I can read it. In your eyes.

That's kid's stuff.

This is no help.

Whiteside, I'm here to spend

Christmas with you.

I think.

I may stay a month...

...or I may leave immediately.

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