My Man Is a Loser Page #4

and the pressure to make small talk.

I asked for a lightning bolt!

Why don't you go cry to your mama?

F*** you. I don't have one.

- Hey.

- Hi.

It's going good, Sweets.

- It's good, isn't it? You forgot something!

- Yeah.

- What?

- Film the party.

- Okay. I will film it.

- He's gonna film it.

- I will do that.

- I'll supervise.

- Okay, Paul.

- There it is. Two- fisted, baby.

Getting something for your wife.

- Good stuff. Oh, look!

- Okay.

My wife, Liz, is giving me

the international sign to mingle.

- So we better mingle. Okay. There it is.

- Yeah. Yep.

All right, this is what 40 looks like,

ladies and gentlemen.

Face paint. Liquor out of a plastic cup

and couples therapy.

Yeah, and grown men making sandwiches

while their wives work out.

I'm telling you,

Lianne only works out that much

so when I die she looks good single.

She's getting into funeral shape.

Let me explain something to you, my friend,

and listen to me.

We sell this company,

and you can buy yourself your own gym

and you can hire Lianne as

your personal trainer.

I hope. I hope.

Oh, my goodness, look at Danny.

All right, everybody take note.

I'm going to break open the neck area,

get things rolling around here.

Jesus, he's not in a good way.

The divorce has pushed him over the edge.

Look at this guy!

Hey, Marty, Paul, get over here.

Help me out.

- All right, Danny.

- Okay.

He's got a piata?

Come on, each of you grab an end.

Let's go. Let's go.

Maybe let's let the kids

start off with the first hit.

- What do you think?

- Yeah.

Why don't you go back to

making sandwiches, Marty?

- Everybody knows.

- Knows what?

I don't mind making sandwiches.

Yeah, and I don't mind listening to

Barry Manilow and blowing dudes.

Dude, just watch your language,

please, with the kids.

- F*** that!

- Jesus.

Man up! Both of you!

Sh*t, man, I like Barry Manilow.

He's cool,

and he's got the best hair in the business.

You sure you don't want to

let the kids take a crack?

- You're going to obliterate this thing?

- Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

Now listen up, my ex- wife made this thing.

She's half Mexican.

This little donkey is made of concrete.

These little drunk midgets

couldn't knock the balls off this thing.

So here we go. Raise it up!

- All right.

- All right.

Where are you going to hit?

- Would you just... Just stop talking, man!

- All right, okay.

Cover your eyes, kids.

Go, Danny, please. Be careful.

Come on! Do it!

Man, I can't do it.

- What?

- The thing is staring at me, man.

- What?

- Look at this thing.

It's some kind of...

These beautiful little eyes and its tail.

She put so much detail into it, you know?

All right, you gotta get

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