This, my friends, is New York City,
the most populous city
in the United States.
8.2 million people,
One of which is not me. Why?
Because it's New York City and I own a bar,
which is sort of like being, you know,
my own episode of The Bachelor.
Now there is my brother- in- law Paul.
That look on his face is called
"Married, lost and how did I get here?"
And that guy right there,
that handsome kid, that's me, Mike.
Why do my friends come to me for advice?
Because when you're this single,
trust me, you've seen it all.
I'll get a hotel.
What? No, come in. This is Amy.
For sure. Come on.
- You okay?
- I don't know.
I hate to say it,
but the second
some men put on a wedding ring,
it cuts off all circulation to the brain.
It's like... He pretends to listen,
about what I just said
and he would have no idea.
Well, I'm not good at taking tests, okay,
that's a real thing. You can google it.
I don't have to, Paul.
Well, you should, because it's real.
There are three paths
to a healthy relationship.
There's the path she's on,
which you need to respect,
and then there's you, yourself...
Okay, well, here's the problem.
I don't know what my path is. Okay?
I lost sight of what my path was or is
or where it was going.
- I've been path- fucked.
- Wow! See?
Okay, this is what I'm talking about.
- Who says that?
- I do.
There are these things
into the outside world.
Oh, my God, well, we're in therapy
so I figured, you know, call me crazy,
Do you have a gag for me? Okay?
You wanna hear
what really goes on with me?
If I may? If I'm allowed to?
My business is down 25%, okay?
I know, it's not your
problem, I understand.
It doesn't stop her spending like wildfire,
which I'd like to get to in a second.
But here's the bottom line.
I'll pay for that, I get it.
Education is important.
But now I have to pay for singing lessons,
piano and dance!
And you know why?
- Nurture? We're not the Jackson 5!
- It is rare...
Okay, time out, time out! Time out.
Take a breath.
You, too, Paul.
Good. I hear your financial concerns, Paul,
I really do.
And I hear you wanting to be heard.
so we'll just take up where we left off
next week at this time.
Okay, well, just give me 30 more seconds,
because I want to finish the point
I started with in the beginning.
It doesn't work that way.
See the secretary on the way out,
and just stay positive all week,
and really... I'm really pleased.
Okay. Well, that's good news.
All that laughing and all that stuff.
Well, fortunately for you,
there's only three paths.
Just three. Three.
There's hers. Yours.
And yours and hers, together.
Now, Paul's not the only one
who needs help.
Did you make sure
Alex got his chips in the bag?
A big- shot in the business world,
but at home,
He's all chipped up. What are you doing?
- And his Fruit Roll- Up?
- All rolled up.
We got all the food groups.(0.00 / 0 votes)
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"My Man Is a Loser" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 4 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/my_man_is_a_loser_14364>.