My Life In Ruins Page #3

-Anything.

-Come on, Barnaby. Come on.

We are now walking through

the tholos. Say it with me? Anyone?

Okay. The Greek word "agora "

means a place of gathering,

and in ancient times,

this was the heart of Athenian life.

Plato and Socrates taught philosophy here.

-She still talking?

-It's hot.

-Yes.

-Where can we get ice cream?

-Is there, like, a mini-mart around here?

-If you just...

I thought this was

the ancient supermarket.

-If you go back to...

-Come, come.

I have a surprise for you. Look. Hey!

Come, beautiful people. Who wants to be

Zeus and Athena? Please, please, come.

-Photo op here.

-Look, he's great.

-Come on.

-Hey, can we do that?

-I wish I was over there.

-That's cheesy.

-That's the good group.

-I want to take a listen.

There's a god with a camera. He's a very

clever god. He invented the camera.

All right, we're going to

the Temple of Hephaestus now. This way.

It's an exciting chapter in history.

Come on, everyone.

I'd rather get my picture taken

as Zeus over there.

It's this way. Come on.

I know it's hot.

The Temple of Hephaestus,

-built between 460 and 415...

-In the words of Big Kev, love...

-We're excited!

-We're excited!

-I'm not sure if they allow beer here.

-Okay, I'll finish it off.

-Okay. There's a trash can over there.

-At last some excitement.

Built between 460 and 415 B.C...

This place looks just like

our Washington, D.C. IHOP.

-No, actually, I'm sure it doesn't.

-Hey, Ange, hey, Ange! Ange!

Al and his crew could have

this place fixed up in a couple of minutes.

Dry wall, new roof, walk-in closets.

-Flip that house!

-Flip that house!

That's a joke. I'm sure that's a joke,

because making it new

would not make it more beautiful.

The point is, it's ancient.

It's ancient. I mean, look at it.

Isn't it magnificent?

Come this way, beautiful people.

Nico puts the gloss into Pangloss. Yes?

Now come around. Please, come around.

Thank you.

So come around, please.

That's the temple there.

-It's very nice, yes?

-Yes.

Enough culture. Now, souvenirs, yes?

Who wants that temple made of soap?

-Temple on a rope, yeah?

-Me, please.

No, no, that's not authentic.

-You don't want that.

-We like those.

Hey, Group B.

You want to come shopping with Nico?

Nico, what are you doing?

No, Group B, you're with me.

I've an hour of shopping

scheduled on Day 4.

-This way, hon.

-We got everything, my friend.

Come this way, follow the pretty ladies.

Hey, beautiful ladies!

Meet back at the bus in 40 minutes.

Standing in the middle

of culture and history,

and they want a 50-50 poly-cotton blend

T-shirt with a picture of a Trojan horse.

Why am I spending my life

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