My Life In Ruins

Synopsis: Georgia is an American academic who's lost her teaching job in Athens. She's taken a job as a tour guide, but she hates it and it shows: the tourists, mostly American, are bored with history and facts; they want to shop. Every group has a goofy couple, a frat boy, a sullen teen, a feuding couple, divorcées looking for a mate, and a funny guy. This group is no exception, plus there's no air conditioning and a bearded silent driver. Thanks to an unlikely friendship, plus daisies, an ice-cream cone, the history of syrup, and the Oracle at Delphi, Georgia may have a shot at finding her kefi during this four-day tour.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Donald Petrie
Production: Fox Searchlight Pictures
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
95 min


People come here from all over

to see the ancient ruins.

To bask in history.

To be a part of the birthplace

of civilization.

People reconnect with their souls.

They find their mojo.

In Greece, it's called kefi,

which means "passion, joy, spirit. "


Goodbye, Genaki.

In a week.

That window's stuck again.

-Bravo. Where is the rent?

-I left it on the trapesi.

Now, me, I love the beauty

and architecture of ancient Greece.

But living in modern Greece

can be a bit frustrating.

Sometimes things go fast.

Most times,

not so much.

I came here a year ago to teach

at Athens University.

Cutbacks left me without a job.

So now, for now,

I work at Pangloss Tours.


Oh, yeah. I've hit rock bottom.

Georgia. Again you cut out beach day.

They can go to the beach in any country.

On my tour,

I teach them about ancient architecture.

Nobody comes to Greece to learn.

Maria, I disagree.

-It's open.

-You didn't get the job.

Don't you read the evaluations?

"What do you think of Georgia

as tour director?"

"Average. Average. Average."

So I'm average.

Average is the lowest box you can check.

Do you think we have

something that says, "Stinks"?

And if we did, you'd be stinks.

-"I find your tour boring."

-My tourists are boring.

I think I've guided, like, 34 tours

and you give me the same tourists

over and over again.

Look! There they are.

The Tipsy Australians.

-The Obnoxious Americans.

-It's called "rip-off."

The Miserable Marriages.

The Disgusted-With-Men-

But-Still-Looking Divorcees.


-And, of course, The Old People.

-I don't see Mr. Funny.


There's always one annoying guy

who thinks he's the life of the party.

Canadians. Polite Canadians.

-Can I have them?


They're in Group A. Nico's group.

Why does Nico always

get the good group?

His evaluations don't say, "Average."


By the way,

Spiros eloped with that girl with no foot.



-I'm being sarcastic.

-You're not funny. Stop trying.

-Who's my driver? Not Themio.

-Relax. He's in jail.

You got the substitute. Procopi.

The creepy, hairy, creepy guy?

He's right behind me, isn't he?

-Does he speak English?

-I don't know if he speaks anything.

Maybe they caught a bear.

Taught it to drive.

So I have rules. You cannot speed,

you cannot smoke

and you cannot eat while driving.

Great, he doesn't speak English.

Don't forget to brush him.

-Maria! Maria!

-Nico! Nico!

Hey, thank you for my group, eh?

He bribes you for the good group?



That girl. That girl has no kefi.

What Greek does not have spirit, eh?

Maybe she's half Greek.

This was supposed to be temporary while

she looked for some big-shot teaching job.

And now no one will hire her

and I am stuck with her.

Hey, if I make her quit, can I have a raise?

I don't want to know about it. Yes.

-Group B! Group B, everyone.


Group B, hello, I'm Georgia.

Welcome to Greece. I'm your tour guide.

I'm Irv Giddeon,

and I've come here to see

as many ancient ruins as possible.

And judging from your husband,

the trip is already a success.

There you are! And, indeed, funny.

I'm killing me.

How many of you, like me, have come here

to fondle as many nude statues

as possible?

-Half the reason I came.

-Get your hand down.

Jeez. This is comedy.

The Greeks invented it.

It's like mustaches on women.

You know, we left Adelaide last night

with 17 pounds of frozen flake.

I'm giving it liquid yawns in the dunnies.

-It was a shocker, Barry.


-Are they speaking words?

-Australians are the nicest people,

but you can only understand

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Mike Reiss

Michael L. Reiss (born September 15, 1959) is an American television comedy writer and author. He served as a show-runner, writer and producer for the animated series The Simpsons and co-created the animated series The Critic. He created and wrote the webtoon Queer Duck and has also worked on screenplays including: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, The Simpsons Movie and My Life in Ruins. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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