My Favorite Five Page #3

Oh, really?

Okay, so then why are there

so many

Miserable married people

in the world?

That doesn't mean...

Women simply don't realize

That they can never be satisfied

With just one man.

Here we go.

No, I don't even give

a man my cellphone number.

No, that is too much access.

He can call me at the office

or my home or e-mail me.

He is not gonna have me

on a leash.

You just don't want to commit,

And these men are too stupid

to realize it.

You're an anti-monogamist.

I am not anti anything.

I just know that you cannot

change the nature of a man,

And when an opposing force

won't change, you adapt,

And I have found perfection.

You found polyandry.

Every woman needs five things...

Five perfect man things,

And most women

settle for one or two.

I want it all,

And because it is impossible

to find a man with all of them,

I have found five...

One man for each.

That is so silly.

It is brilliant,

And the only logical solution.

No, no, no, no, no.

Every woman

has the same dilemma...

Trying to turn a man

into something he's not.

Okay.

Tell me why you just have to

have five men at one time,

Besides the obvious

self-serving reasons.

Five... no more, no less.

It is so simple, really.

Every woman needs a bad boy.

That's where t.I. Comes in.

It's not just because they

want to go against the grain.

It is because you know

no one is gonna mess with him.

Ooh, that's my song!

Man, I just want to

do your homework.

What's your name, huh?

Been watching you, girl,

all night.

Ooh.

Can I get your name?

What's up, man?

You can't beat

Having your own personal

body guard.

He's not just a pack of meat.

He is always there

when you need him.

Thank you, t.I.

You're welcome.

I'm gonna just stick around here

just in case y'all need me.

Just... let me get over here.

Just... oh, okay.

Hey, muscle is not enough.

Eventually, you're gonna have to

talk to him.

The hell I do.

Pshh, I don't even have to

sleep with him.

He is enamored

just by being with me.

Mm.

And of course, there's romance.

Oh, every woman needs romance...

A man who is so smooth,

so sugary sweet,

Every phone call

leaves your face sticky.

Mm! Look, this is what

James sent me this morning.

"I am but a fish

caught in your net",

"Longing not for the release,

"But to be devoured

by your grace.

"While I burn over the fire,

yes, but I say let it burn.

You are more than worthy

of the pain."

Oh, this is really sad.

Please, don't hate.

Why are you

playing with this man?

I am not playing with him.

It is a mutually-beneficial

arrangement.

James has a need to be romantic.

It's in his DNA.

Most women

would question his manhood,

But I am evolved enough

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