Murder by Death Page #4

...I will need a cold compress

and hot chocolate, "n'est-ce pas?"

We don't have "n'est-ce pas," sir.

Just Hershey's.

I'll call the maid.

I'll fetch it for you myself, sir.

In the meantime, if you'll be

good enough to follow me to your room.

Get up. Get up.

There's something about him

I do not trust.

Notice how his eyes

never look at you.

He's blind, monsieur.

Nonsense.

There's the house now.

- What's the matter?

- My feet are killing me.

Why didn't you tell me we needed oil

before I went back for gas?

I gave you $50

and the gas was $5.00.

Maybe you'd come back. Maybe not.

I couldn't risk it.

- Don't you trust me, Sam?

- Trust you?

The last time that I trusted a dame

was in Paris in 1940.

She said she was going to get wine.

Two hours later,

the Germans marched into France.

I'm sorry, Sam.

Sorry nothing.

Give me my change.

Dinner will be at 9:00.

I'll have the maid

bring your chocolate.

- One moment, my good man.

- Sir?

Thank you. That will be all.

He's blind, all right.

Those were my funniest faces.

It's not exactly

the Copacabana, is it?

I don't feel good about this.

Maybe tonight your luck runs out.

Maybe so. There's a number

on the wall for all of us.

If tonight's the night

they pick mine, so be it.

After you, sweetheart.

- First, kiss me, Sam.

- I don't kiss.

Just this once, Sam.

I don't like kissing.

Now leave me alone.

My God!

- He's dead!

- I beg your pardon?

Sam Diamond is lying out there.

He's been crushed to death.

I'm going to faint.

Catch me.

Madam. Madam, where are you?

Hold it right there.

Freeze, blinky!

Get your hands up.

Turn your face to the wall.

All right, angel.

You can get up now.

Turn around, Jeeves.

Your concrete Christmas present came

two seconds early, no thanks to you.

I apologize for

any unfortunate mishap, sir.

- May I put my hands down?

- Don't test your luck, Shakespeare.

I got your invitation to dinner...

...but I didn't realize

I'd be the main course.

I had a kid brother

who got it the same way...

...working on a case like this

two years ago.

That boy would've been 63

on Tuesday.

For two cents, I'd take this-

Get him away from me! Get him away.

Get him away before I stuff him

like a tiger trophy...

...his limey pals

like to hang up on saloon walls.

Please.

He has a dreadful temper,

hasn't he?

9:
00, time for dinner.

Is everything ready?

I don't smell anything.

Very light on the seasoning,

are you?

Put the soup in a tureen

and keep the squabs on low.

I'll serve cocktails.

When you hear the bell,

bring out the chilled asparagus...

...and turn up the flame

on the squabs.

Have you got that?

You didn't tell me how I look.

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