Mr 3000 Page #4

had slowly crept to

within four votes of enshrinement,

but this time finished 147 votes shy,

following a correction

in the record books that left him

three hits short of the magical 3,000.

Looks like Stan's gonna have to wait...

- Turn it off.

...till next year to wait till next life.

From the green...

I can't let 'em do it to me.

I can't let 'em take away my legacy.

You love me because I'm one

of the greatest hitters alive.

You love me because I'm one

of the greatest hitters alive.

You love me because I'm one

of the greatest hitters alive.

I'm back.

The King with the Swing,

the right arm they call "The Gun",

Stan Ross. Nitroglycerin himself.

Number 21, the man with the sweetest

swing in the major league, is back.

You gotta be jokin'.

- How old are you? 50?

- 47 and gettin' younger.

That's why I love you, man.

Man, what the hell...?

What's your damn problem, man?

That was four-tenths of a second.

That's how much time you have

after the ball leaves the pitcher's hand

to decide whether it's a fastball,

a split-finger...

Wait, wait.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

What you know about the game?

You ever played in the majors?

Figures. He's wrong.

No, I've just been

a Brewers fan my whole life,

while you treated the team

and the fans and the city like dirt.

Yo, Boca, get this man another bottle.

- Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

- You're welcome.

- No, I want you to try it again.

- What?

See, cos last time

I wasn't standing at the plate.

Come on, try it again. Yeah.

Boca. See that?

Three more of these, three more hits.

As I said before, Stan Ross is back.

Better talk to him, Boca.

Ladies and gentlemen, number 21,

the great, the fantastic,

Mr Incredible:
Stan.

I thought when we retired his number we

wouldn't have to see that prick any more.

He's a senior citizen.

Do you think I want him here?

And he hasn't played the game

in nine years.

It's not like we're in the American League

any more, so he's gotta play the field.

Can he even handle first base

at his age, let alone hit?

Fellas.

We are in fifth place,

and we are not drawing flies.

And we've got two

very long months ahead of us.

The biggest crowd we've had all year

was the day we retired Stan's number.

Now, we give him a physical,

give him a month to get in shape.

Then after that September

roster expansion, if he's up to it...

we put him in the line-up.

- Bo, all I need is a bat.

- That's it, baby.

Look at him. He ain't got no waist

on him. He got nothin'.

- Stan Ross.

- Hey.

Eddie Richling.

I'm the conditioning coach.

He here to carry you home?

The only thing Boca gonna carry

is my plaque to the Hall of Fame.

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