Moonwalkers Page #3

But Derek...

Just f*** off!

Sh*t! Jesus!

Oh. F***ing oy!

Prick.

F***.

Derek Kaye?

Huh?

Tom Kidman.

Johnson Brother Films.

I believe you were

expecting my visit

regarding

Mr. Stanley Kubrick.

Right, yeah. I...

I'll be brief, as I just came

straight from the airport.

As I said to you

on the phone,

we have a proposal

for Mr. Kubrick

that he needs to take

extremely seriously.

Yeah. Cool

There's a considerable

amount of money

in this project...

should Mr. Kubrick

decide to say yes.

For him and for you.

Huh?

Now, this is a project

of extreme importance

to my employers.

And it's incredibly

time sensitive.

There's nothing else

I can say without

Mr. Kubrick.

But I'll be available

to discuss this

all afternoon.

Here's the number

you can reach me at.

If Mr. Kubrick

accepts our proposal,

he gets the money.

Oh, and I would

appreciate it

if you would keep this

strictly confidential.

Leon!

One sec.

How are you, man?

What's up?

This is insanity, man.

I look nothing like

Stanley f***ing Kubrick.

You'll be fine.

You've got a beard.

That's all that matters.

All we've got

to do is sit down,

answer a few questions

and just act like you know

what you're talking about.

Yeah, but I don't know

what I'm talking about.

He's going to clock it.

He's going to figure it out.

Of course he's not.

He's some Hollywood idiot

from Hollywood.

He's clueless.

All right, wait, wait.

What films

did I make again?

Paths of Glory,

Yeah.

Dr. Strangelove,

Yeah.

Lolita.

Wait, hang on.

Lolita?

Isn't that

the pedo film?

Oh, for f***'s sake, Jonny.

No! Why do I have

to be a pedo?

Why can't I be

someone else?

Why can't I be Hitchcock?

No!

You're Stanley Kubrick.

Listen, I'm not going

to let him f*** me

up the arse.

What are you talking about?

I hear stories, man.

These Hollywood dudes

are at it all the time.

Oh, f***.

Oh, sh*t, I feel sick.

I think I've got stage fright.

Hang on.

I need to relax.

Hang on. Hang on.

Leon! Leon!

What's in the bag, Leon?

Leon!

It's repair patch glue.

Are you f***ing

joking me?

You're doing this

to me now?

Wake up, Leon,

you f***ing junkie!

I'm sorry.

Look.

Take some of this.

Get more.

All of it.

How do you feel now?

Powerful.

Like a horse.

Listen...

all you've got to do

is sit in there

for five minutes

and pretend to be

Stanley Kubrick.

All right.

You can do it.

I know you

can pull it off.

Yeah. All right.

Okay'?

Okay

Yeah.

Okay.

How do I look?

Okay. Great.

Sh*t.

Good to see you again,

Mr. Kidman.

Good to see you.

Please meet

Mr. Stanley Kubrick.

So good of you to see me

on such short notice.

Sorry.

My hands are a bit clammy.

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