Synopsis: What if Apollo 11 never actually made it? What if, in reality, Stanley Kubrick secretly shot the famous images of the moon landing in a studio, working for the US administration? This is the premise of a totally plausible conspiracy theory that takes us to swinging sixties London, where a stubborn CIA agent will never find Kubrick but instead is forced to team up with a lousy manager of a seedy rock band to develop the biggest con of all time, in this riotous, high-tempo action-comedy.
Genre: Action, Comedy
107 min

I'll be there.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one,


I know I don't have

to tell you this,

but we need

a good one tonight.

More than ever.

Rick Gabler from Decca

is supposed to show up.

This could be our chance

to be signed by a big label.

This is going to be

our kind of audience.

So, let's give them

what they want.

All right.

And Glen, if you could

try not to touch yourself

while you're singing,

that would be great.


But it's my signature move, Jonny.

You know it.

Honestly, mate, it makes

everyone feel sick.

Please don't do it.

They love it, Jonny!

You like it, really.

That's worth more

than music, actually.

This is our fucking day.

Let's give 100% out there.

All right, let's do this!

Give us a kiss.

Look, Paul,

I know I said two weeks,

but I'm telling you,

this band is on the verge.

After tonight's gig,

the money is going

to start pouring in.

No, I'm not a thief.

I just need

a little bit more time.

In my at?

To cut my hands off?

My balls?

Yeah. Yeah.

We are The Yellow Blackguards

and we bring you love!

Fucking cunty bastards!




Don't need

to sell your soul

To make it

in rock and roll

Just need

f0 find your crowd

1-7 And play your guitar loud .67

Well, if you're tired

of just talking the talk

How was I to know

they randomly changed

Hippie Night

into inbred retard night?

You're our manager.

You're supposed

to fucking know

these things.

I mean,

seriously, Jonny.

This can't go on, mate.

What can't go on?

This, you know.

You promising to deliver

and us somehow

always ending up

in the shitter.

Having to run

for our lives.

You can't possibly

blame me for this.

All right,

it's not just this. It's...


it's everything.

Like, all right, example.

How long have you been

saying that we're going

to do my rock opera?

Because I don't see

no rock opera.

I'm working on it.

What else? All right.

We've been gigging

for three years

and I'm still

not getting laid.

And that's what it's

all about for you,

isn't it, Glen?

Getting laid.

Partly. Yes.

I'm the lead singer

in a band.

I write all these fucking

amazing poetic lyrics as well.

You're off, Henry,

Grandma's nipples,

Take me to the zoo,

I fancy that rhino.

Look, I'm sorry, Jonny,

but we're going to need

another manager.


That's ridiculous.

How is it going to work

with two managers?

No, not like

another manager,

like a different one.

But that's insane.

I'm just about

to get you signed.

And all I'm asking for

is two more days

to sort it out.


Fine. Two days.

But then we are

fucking out of here.

Our luck is going

to change. You'll see.

Oh, for f*ck's sake,


I believe that this nation

should commit itself

to achieving the goal,

before this decade is out,

of landing

a man on the moon--

Blah, blah, blah.


As you know,

we've been developing

our space program

for some time now,

planning our 11th Apollo mission

to the moon in 10 days' time.

The trouble is...

we still don't have a clue

whether the thing's

going to make it or not.

It's been made

only too clear to me that

this is our last shot.

And that means the Russians

will have a clear run

to get to the moon first.

And do you know what happens

if the Russians happen

to make it

to the moon first?

We're going to wind up

looking like a bunch

of dicks, that's what.

You ever seen a movie called

A Space Odyssey?

Made by this

film director geek

called Stanley Kubrick.

All set in space and shit.

Doesn't make

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Dean Craig

Dean Craig (born October 25, 1974) is an English screenwriter and film director. In addition to his film work, Craig wrote the BBC television series Off The Hook. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Moonwalkers" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 18 Apr. 2021. <>.

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