Monster Brawl

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They've been out there

for centuries.

Lurking in the shadows.

Rotting in our stories and myths.

And buried in our nightmares.

For the time will come

when monsters

will shape the fortunes of all.

Tonight!

The most highly anticipated extreme

sporting event ever.

Ever, ever, ever.

Eight deadly monsters

summoned to the ring

from all corners of the Earth,

fighting to the death to determine the

most powerful ghoul of all time.

Ghoul of all time.

Fighting and monster fans

from across the world,

board up your windows and

put your kids to bed,

for it's the ultimate fight

of the living dead.

The living dead.

This is Monster Brawl.

Good evening monster

fans in Canada,

Newfoundland and the United

States of America.

We're coming to you live from

the abandoned and overgrown

Hillside Necropolis in

central Michigan,

and folks, we're about to witness

an unspeakable war of attrition

here at the first ever Monster

Brawl main event.

I'm Buzz Chambers,

here with legendary former champ,

Sasquatch Sid Tucker.

And tonight, we present

a shocking and God-awful

fighting tournament

featuring a roster of the world's

most notorious ghouls,

in what can only be described

as a showdown for the ages.

That's right, Buzz.

This will be a blood-curdling

battle to the death

for our eight gruesome and

ghastly combatants.

Now, the tournament consists

of two conferences.

The Undead and the Creatures.

Each conference contains

four monsters.

There are middleweight contenders

and the heavyweights.

Let's take a quick look

at our fighters.

The Unread Conference.

The Mummy.

Lady Vampire.

Zombie Man.

Frankenstein.

The Creatures Conference.

Cyclops.

Witch B*tch.

Swamp Gut.

Werewolf.

Now, our opening fights feature

the middleweight battles

from each conference.

And the division titles

are up for grabs.

First up from the Creatures,

is Cyclops vs. Witch B*tch.

Then for the Undead

it's Mummy vs. Lady Vampire.

The next round of fights is

our heavyweight contests.

For the Creatures it's Swamp

Gut pitted against Werewolf.

And for the Undead, it's Frankenstein

vs. Zombie Man.

The final fight of the night

will have the contenders

from each heavyweight bout facing

each other in a bitter

and grisly end showdown.

But first, we welcome special

Monster Brawl dignitary,

the perpetually hyper "Mouth

from the South", Jimmy Hart.

Come on baby, step

on it! Step on it!

I'm going to be late for

the Monster Brawl!

Look, I promise you III pay

for the speeding ticket.

I promise! I promise! Look, pal, I'm

begging you, step on it. Please.

I'm going to turn into a pumpkin

if you don't hurry.

II right. Come on, baby. I

think I'm gonna make it.

Jimmy, glad you could

make it here tonight.

How are you feeling?

Guys, this is awesome! I'm

having a blast here.

The monsters are getting

ready for the fights.

I just saw a graveyard worker get their

arms ripped off by a zombie.

We're in for a blistering,

bickering battle royal,

a devastating, disgusting

donnybrook,

and a freakish, forlorn fracas.

Hey Jimmy, give us some background

info on this event.

How the hell did Monster

Brawl come to life, huh?

This event started out as

just a crazy old dream

from an unemployed, smalltime wresting

promoter named Jake Blackburn.

He first devised this idea

over five years ago from

his parent's basement.

I had a chance to catch up with

Blackburn earlier in the week,

and he had this to say.

Blackburn, I got a few questions

for you, if you don't mind.

Why don't you tell

us about yourself?

I've always been a geek when it

comes to wresting and monsters.

I used to make Kung Fu tournaments.

I'd have all my friends over,

and we'd beat each other up,

and then we'd run inside and watch

monster movies and scare

the crap out of each other.

Well, let me ask you this.

What in the world compelled

you to go down this path?

I mean, why monsters?

Why-why wresting?

Well, these things are

like my drugs, man.

I mean, when everyone else was

out partying on Friday nights,

I'm sitting at home watching

Japanese death matches

and doodling monsters fighting.

As a local promoter, I know it was

tough. You had a lot of struggles.

Can you tell us about it?

It was tough. We're going around with

wrestlers no one has heard of.

It kind of fizzled out. But, uh, I

went back to the drawing board,

that's when I started thinking

about the big ideas.

What about Las Vegas?

Bright lights, big city,

sold-out crowds?

It all came down to affordability and

keeping the monsters comfortable.

They don't wanna be in front of

big crowds with lots of lights going

off and stuff like that.

There's a safety issue. You don't want

them ripping arms off of people.

That's when we came up with the idea

to have it in a secret graveyard.

We can show it to the whole

world. It's perfect.

How in the hell did you

recruit these monsters?

Frankenstein? Zombie?

We're sending invites

all over the place.

Some monsters just caught wind

of what was going on.

Some just showed up out of nowhere,

like they were summoned here from

the dark forces we got in play.

It's gonna be an amazing battle,

Jimmy, and to me it

doesn't matter who wins.

It's all about the journey getting

here, and it's been great.

Well, there you have it folks.

The brains behind the brawl.

May I give you some advice?

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