Mindhorn Page #2

[humming]

[singing] Can't handcuff the wind

Ah, hello, lovely. Here for the casting.

Richard Thorncroft.

Oh, great. Mr. Branagh's nearly ready

for you, Richard.

-Crowthorne?

-Thorncroft.

The B man.

Kenny B.

[laughing] Bloody good to see you.

Let's crack this baby open.

Hi. Richard Crowthorne, eleven o'clock?

Oh.

Right.

[imitates Jamaican accent]

I speak the truth.

I am afeared of no man.

I am afeared of no creature.

I am my own man.

I am Clifton of Port Antonio.

Do you feel me?

Yeah, that's incredible.

That's-- That's literally incredible.

[clears throat]

-[in normal voice] Thank you.

-You're welcome.

Really, I mean, I don't know what to say,

but thank you.

I wanna try something.

I'd like to do it again.

But this time

I'd like to try it with a brogue.

Uh, no, I think we--

We're good, we've got everything.

I've seen everything

I could possibly want.

-You sure?

-[Kenneth] Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Well, acting aside,

it's been great to catch up.

[Richard laughing]

Kenny B. This guy was one crazy hombre

back in the day.

Do you remember that hotel in Maidstone?

Oh, who can-- Who can--

Who can forget that?

-Did a tour of Medway basin.

-Thank you.

And this fella-- [chuckles]

Well, they'll have to re-paper

that hotel room.

-[chuckles] Yeah.

-I love what you're doing these days.

Ken, I really admire your balls. Okay.

The B man.

Alrighty.

[Richard] The killer B.

The Branflake.

-Who was that?

-Not a f***ing clue.

Hey, brother.

-You got my details?

-Yeah.

[Richard] Lovely.

[woman] Sorry, Sarah.

Front desk say Richard Thorncroft is here.

Oh, Christ. I'm with Simon.

Tell him to wait outside.

Ah, Richard, darling. How are you?

[woman] It's too late.

I couldn't stop him.

[Richard] How am I? Well, let me think.

I haven't had an audition in 18 months

and you get me a schizophrenic Yardie.

Sounds like a good part to me.

If you're a 60-year-old Jamaican man.

Sorry, Simon. I didn't realize it was you.

-Hello. Hi.

-Big, big fan.

Big fan. Caught your Equus in Chichester.

-Powerful piece of work.

-Great. Thank you.

And you were fantastic in, um...

Um...

Oh, God, my memory's gone these days.

-Uh, you were fantastic in it.

-Thank you.

Sorry about the cock-up.

It was the new assistant.

How could you mix me up with Crowthorne?

Do I not exist?

No one seems to know who I am.

Me and the Branster go way back.

I don't suppose you...

Simon, sweetie,

could you just give us a few moments?

I could have this salad.

-Come back. Two minutes.

-Yes, yes.

What the hell's going on?

You're going through a transitional phase.

You said that five years ago, Sarah.

I mean, you're moving

from young, handsome hero

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