Midnight Sex Run Page #3

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buddies took his penis away.

Oh my God it's you...

... Jeff.

In the flesh.

Most of it anyway.

We feel terrible.

We feel rotten.

It was a prank but you know what?

It looks like you've done

really well for yourself.

Your little prank...

... blew off 89 percent of my

penis and testicles.

I had to watch a fox trot by

and eat my dispatched manhood.

Have you ever watched a fox

eat you dispatched manhood?

I've had some really bad oral sex.

The doctors didn't know what

to do with what remained.

My mother and I had some

painful decisions to make.

I'm sure whatever you chose

is quite beautiful.

I chose this.

You kidnapped our dads?

Where are they?

Are they here? Dad.

You don't kidnap a guy's dad.

They're somewhere safe. For now.

Okay look, I'm on the

verge of booking a very,

very big Band-Aid commercial.

When I do, we'll split the money

with you. Give us back our dads.

You two haven't changed a bit.

Weasels 'till the end.

Money can't save your fathers.

Only you can.

I don't follow.

Well I do follow. Literally.

Turns out that spying can be

a very lucrative business...

...when you call it 'surveillance'.

Through my very own company,

Buddy System,

I've monitored your sexual

nihilism, your ungrateful...

... standard-free gluttony of cocksmanship.

Okay. We used to be like that in our 20's...

...but, we can't get sh*t anymore.

No one wants to f*** us.

Spare me.

You have 24 hours to sleep with

ten women of various races,

ages, subcultures,

and professions.

Women that I have been only

able to fantasize about...

... and now you are my avatars...

... recording the ecstasy that

I can only imagine...

... and then when you finish the mission...

... your fathers will be free.

You have 24 hours to screw

a total of ten women.

This is like a midnight sex run.

And to be clear, you are not to

call the police. If you do,

your dads will die.

Great.

Jeff will be in constant

communication with you...

... over your walkies talkies.

Once you finish the first

carnal assignment,

buzz Jeff and he will give

you the next target...

... and so on and so forth.

Is that clear?

Who's the first to go? Who's

the first carnal assignment?

When Jeff was first in the hospital he met...

... a very kind nurse.

Your first conquest of the

evening will be a nurse.

Just any old nurse?

I know a nurse.

She's a masseuse but--...

... That's great. One down.

No. No one you know.

They must all be fresh.

You contact any of the loosie

goosies you may know,

and we will shoot and stab your fathers.

You're insane.

For verification,

we are providing you with

cameras to record the deed.

They feed directly to Jeff's

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