Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life Page #5

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It's not a true sports car if

it's an automatic, all right?

Besides, I really like to feel

the road when I'm driving.

Hey, towel, please.

Sorry, I almost got "person"

on your seat.

Hey, "f" your "I,"

these seats are Italian

leather, all right?

I'm trying to keep them nice

for the re-sale.

Bear, you do know you can't

sell a car you don't own.

Don't own yet, my friend.

Don't own yet.

104 more payments,

and this baby is all mine.

Hey.

Not so close to the car,

fat boy!

Come here, Calvin.

Come here, boy.

You're a good boy.

Don't listen to that mean man.

Come here.

You did that on purpose.

So sue me.

I wish mom knew

what a butt wipe you are.

Hey.

Butt wipes feel pretty good.

Who doesn't love

a butt wipe, huh?

Everyone loves a butt wipe.

So I guess the joke is on you.

No.

The joke's on you.

Huh?

Eh...

Hey. Oh, hey. What's up, man?

Oh, cool. You found it.

Oh, no.

Don't read the card

because then things are gonna

get sappy or whatever,

and I hate that.

So just open the present.

All right.

I figured your other one,

may it rest in peace,

was almost full, so you

probably need another one.

It's awesome, man.

Thank you. But...

I mean, all my best stuff

was in my last sketch book.

Comics, inventions.

Expertly drawn b*obs.

Those were realistic.

I think.

I hope.

But the Vinlothians. Like...

You made the star cruiser.

You made their planet.

You even came up

with their battle cry.

What was it?

Grak-tung.

Grak-freakin'-tung!

All right.

And, like, their language.

Their star cruiser night club.

Shh!

Could you lower your voice,

please?

What for?

I said, "shh."

What?

Okay, you don't want them

to know I'm here.

Yeah. No offense, but mom doesn't

think you're the best influence.

Oh, okay. Well, she's not

wrong about that.

Okay, Rafe.

Back to the book thing.

Are you ready

for the greatest idea

in the history of ideas?

Dwight trashed your book, right?

So, you trash his.

Yeah, I guess

that could be kind of fun.

We'd take the shredder

from the back...

No, no, no.

We don't wanna shred

the rule book.

You wanna shred

the actual rules.

Every stupid rule

in this dumb code of conduct.

Leo, are you kidding me?

And get kicked out of another school?

I would be disowned.

No, you won't.

You wanna know why?

'Cause we're gonna be careful and

nobody's gonna know it's us.

So you're saying

we do it anonymously?

Exactly!

It is up to us to speak

for the voiceless,

to be vigilantes for freedom.

We've got eight weeks before

Dwight tries to measure our worth

on a bunch of bubbles

on a Scantron.

I'm sick of people

trying to suck the fun

out of childhood.

Let's stop the suck!

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