Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life Page #3

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the man-bun!

Over-rated and over-exposed,

the Kardashian!

You get that I can

kick your butt, right?

My bad.

There is an agreement.

Sorry.

Free trade.

For tomorrow, I want everybody

to become familiar with every

single member of the Wu-tang clan.

We're gonna take

a little trip to the Bronx.

So, in conclusion...

I'm not just gonna stand here

and make a bunch of promises.

Just this.

You should vote for me

because my dad is super rich

and my stepmom is really hot.

Oh, ho, ho!

Stormin' Norman, what a speech!

Well done.

Hey.

Uh, for those of you

who don't know me,

I'm Jeanne Galleta,

President of the av club.

I'm guessing most of you

don't know what that is,

since I'm also the only member.

Gandhi once said,

"we have to be the change

we wish to see."

And the way I see it,

cutting funding for the arts...

Hello.

Was just dumb.

We have to bring it back,

so we can express ourselves

as human beings

and not just a bunch of robots.

Also, we've gotta do something

about this dress code, okay?

It stifles individuality!

Oh, look at that,

we're out of time.

Sorry, miss Galleta. Gosh.

No, no, no.

Please. No, don't clap.

- No need to be polite.

- Thank you.

Just hold your clapping

till the end.

I think we're probably all

voting for Norman anyway, right?

I've seen his stepmom.

You're not kidding.

All right, folks, you know...

That's not funny.

Why is this wrapped around...

Let's not wrap the microphone

around the stand anymore.

It's annoying.

Folks, in two months,

we will all be competing

for something

of the utmost importance.

Who knows what I'm referring to?

B.L.A.A.R.

I can't hear you!

B.L.A.A.R.!

Now you're just yelling.

No yelling!

That's right.

In eight short weeks,

we will all be taking

the baseline assessment

of academic readiness!

All right. Hey, you there!

Do you love your parents?

I guess so.

Hear me when I tell you, you don't

love them an eighth as much

as I love this test!

A few years ago,

my wife asked me

to stop paying so much

attention to the b.L.A.A.R.

And pay a little more

attention to her.

Well, she's gone now,

and I have no regrets.

And, folks, if we are going to

maintain our number one standing,

which we most certainly

do wanna do...

This is hilarious!

Oh, my gosh!

Zombie Dwight!

Only the b.L.A.A.R.

And nothing but the b.L.A.A.R.

No, come on, give it...

Hey, what's with

all the kerfuffle out there?

This is legit hilarious.

Hey!

Hand over the notebook, Deenie,

if you know what's good for you.

Smart move!

Oh!

This concludes our assembly.

I don't look like that.

I don't look like that at all.

Son, as principal, I think of myself

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