Meet My Valentine Page #4

"your-friend-is-dying" book

for under $10.

( laughs )

I-Im sorry. I was--

I was just trying to help.

I know.

Seriously, though,

how are you?

Im fine.

Hows Val?

She doesnt know,

not yet.

Okay, not yet,

as in youre waiting

to see if theres a cure?

Theres no cure.

All right, listen, Tom,

I am the last guy

who should be

giving out advice.

I mean, I spend $200

a month on comic books.

But you gotta tell her.

No, not yet.

The second

Val finds out

about this,

this whole thing

becomes emotional,

and I dont have time

for emotion. Not now.

I have a plan.

And I need to stay

focused on that right now.

So I was thinking

about our conversation

the other night--

about Dale.

- My dog?

- Someday soon, I will be...

- Tom--

- ...gone.

- Tom--

- And when I am,

Valentine is gonna look

for someone new.

And that person

is going to become...

Phoebes dad.

Hes going to have

breakfast at my

kitchen table,

and sleep

in my bed,

and watch my little girl

grow up.

Hes going to teach her

how to drive a car.

She doesnt even know

how to ride a bike yet.

Im not gonna be here

for that.

There are a thousand

of those things

that I am not gonna

get a chance to see.

I dont know

how to face this,

knowing that the person

who might become her dad

isnt good enough.

I need to have a say

in who raises

my daughter.

Tom, Im--

Im honored.

I mean, listen,

I always thought Val was hot,

so thats not

gonna be a problem,

but for you to think Id be

a good father for Phoebe,

- I mean, I just--

- Not you.

Fair enough.

Im going to find

my own replacement.

Is this what your meeting

was about today?

-Because if so...

- No, no.

This is just

something Mac

came up with.

Yeah, right,

it was my idea.

You know,

its, uh, funny.

Its for my

YouTube channel.

So, okay, let me

get this straight.

You want to put

pictures of me

-on Singles.net?

- Mm-hmm.

And then

when guys come...

- Then Mac

jumps out and--

- Filming. I film.

Yeah,

the whole things

being filmed,

- like "Candid Camera"

or one of those--

- Yeah, hilar--

- itll be hilarious.

- Its supposed to be funny.

We havent figured out

all-- the ending of it--

Theres things,

but Ill be funny.

Okay...

youre not gonna use

any of the vacation photos?

What? No.

No.

Okay. Well, then...

pftt...

...cool.

I mean, do what you want.

I mean, nobody watches

that stupid channel anyway.

- No offense.

- None taken.

Ahem.

You know, this whole thing

isnt like you...

like, at all.

Sometimes

people change.

Mm-hmm. Not usually.

Mac:

All right.

Singles.net.

Gonna need name.

Valen--

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa.

What, are you nuts?

Dont use

her real name.

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