Marley & Me Page #5

Okay, can I get the dog back?

Never let him off leash

unless you have complete confidence.

- Okay.

- This is the only beach in two counties...

- where dogs aren't banned.

- All right.

Cops see anybody peeing or pooping

down by the water, they'll shut us down.

Why is that funny to you?

I'm just very immature.

Calvin!

See? Aren't you glad

you're not Calvin?

See how easy you got it?

Marley, stop!

Marley. Marley.

Honey, the dog's got my-

Marley, no.

Marley, you can't go

through a screen door.

We're rockin'the suburbs

Around the block

just one more time

We're rockin'the suburbs

- We part the shades and face some facts

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- You too.

- They got better looking fescue

Marley!

It just seems like

that there's other guys.

- Like, I don't understand why you thought of me.

- I'm in a bind.

Yeah, but I'm a reporter.

I'm not a columnist.

John, you get better pay...

you can pick your own hours

and choose your own topics.

- Why are you hesitating?

- No, I'm thinking.

No, you're hesitating. I'm offering you

a promotion, and you're hesitating.

I never saw myself as a columnist.

Well, think of it as one of those times

when you surprise yourself.

- Okay.

- John, it's only a couple of times a week...

till I get a replacement forJerry.

Then you can go back to doing

whatever the hell it was you were doing.

- What were you doing?

- Obituaries, methane leaks.

- Are you okay with this?

- Yes.

- You don't seem very thrilled.

- No, it's a promotion.

- We could take away the raise in pay if you like.

- No, no. I'm-Thank you.

All right. Now you're talking.

Go on. Get to work.

Oh! Marley. I think

he dislocated my shoulder.

God. He doesn't even heel.

He doesn't walk.

He just sprints.

Marley- God.

Marley, stop.

I had to pull him

off three dogs today.

- Poodles?

- Among others.

I say we give him away to a farm.

Isn't that usually what you do

with dogs that are out of control?

Well, usually you-

Usually you train them.

Or you train 'em.

Come on. Down. Go on.

What are you doing?

Arnie gave me a column.

Are you kidding?

Baby, that's great.

Oh, yeah. It's a big honor.

I get to write about zoning laws...

and give my opinion on yard sales.

Whoa. Down, boy.

Easy with the enthusiasm.

Well, no, it's just, I don't even read

this crap when other people write it.

Now I'm supposed to, you know,

write two columns a week?

And you got nothin'for Tuesday.

No. I got nothin' for Tuesday.

I bet you're gonna

think of something.

Now, see, this gives me a little

inspiration, but it's not for a column.

It's more like-

Look at Marley.

Now he's eating the floor.

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