Maps to the Stars Page #5

Facebook fan page in like 2 months.

Sounds like marriage material.

You should just f*** her, right?

Or eat her on her period.

Come on, don't be vulgar.

Yeah, Bri won't even do that to me.

Well he can't.

Because your menopausal!

- Oh!

- Shut up!

- Come on, we...

Would you guys chill,

come on.

Alright, so,

production company looks into it and

finds out a teenster's been selling this chick

my sh*t for like 3000 dollars.

Excuse me, your sh*t?

Yeah, you heard it right girl, my sh*t.

He's got some expensive doody.

It's got rice in it from uh...

Noboo!

Like out of a honey wagon?

No, like...um... when the guy

comes in with the hose

.... empty...you know...

What is she doing with it?

Stock pilling... for that rainy day.

Okay, like, where did she get the money?

Slush fund.

Oh! Benjie you are so sick!

There are some days, I actually,

I ran specials when I had diarrhea.

- Summer clearance.

- Everything must go!

Oh my God!

Come...

Who is that?

Starla Gent, country singer.

- She won the voice?

- Nah, she's runner up.

God, she is a wild woman.

Uh, hell of an actress, as well.

Didn't I tell you?

Javitz cast her in the part you wanted.

Shut up!

Ah, I wonder if

Blake Sheldon pied in that butt.

Hey, you like Sam?

Um.

You could totally f*** her.

She wants to be in your movie.

I hear she gets great Oxy too.

I've almost got 90 days.

To what?

Sobriety, you dick-wad!

Oh, my God!

The human stench.

Fat, anchor whore from TN was in the bathroom. We saw her ankles.

What was her name again?

It was like something Dead Farted.

Hey, isn't that Sterl Carruth?

Oh yeah, with Havana Segrand.

We have the same agent.

How old is she?

Totally menopausal.

Oh, beyond! She's near death!

She's like older than my grandmother.

Oh, she is. She MILF.

Grandmother I like to f***.

Are they f***ing?

Ah, she'd be like a mercy f***.

Like when orderlies rape

old people in nursing homes.

Hey, didn't her mom die in a fire?

Yeah!

Like Jack Cassidy.

Who's that?

The prodigal swinger.

David Cassidy's father.

Who's David Cassidy?

Sean Cassidy's brother.

You know her mom was

really cool actress as well, um...

... Clarice Taggart?

Yeah, um...

Annie did a thing on her.

She was really cool!

She was young.

Who is that?!

F***.

F***.

Hey, Damien, what's happening?

Yeah, yeah, I could totally wear 2 earrings.

I love that.

Um, Maestro, I'm just, eh...

I'm just here with the kids.

Doing the whole bedtime story thing.

Can I... can I call you back?

Um, yeah, no, I'll, yeah,

I'll call you right back first thing.

Hey!

Mention me when... you talk!

You are so f***ing crazed.

Suck my dick and I'll put in a word.

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