Magic Mike Page #4

MlKE:
Actually, l would, to be totally honest.

-Ha, ha.

lf you like to get a wee bit crazy,

why don't you come down and see the show?

CARLA:
Are you serious? Wow.

MlKE:
As a f***ing heart attack.

We have a lot of friends here.

Can they come too?

MlKE:
How many?

CARLA:
Eight or nine?

MlKE:

That's perfect, actually.

Hand them these. Tell them

they get in free at the door.

Okay. Maybe we'll come.

No. That's not a commitment.

Maybe we'll come,

if your little friend here comes too.

ADAM:
Me?

-Oh, "little friend."

That's an easy if,

because he will be there.

-He's absolutely gonna be there.

-l will?

LlZ:

Then we'll be there too.

All right. The show starts in 45 minutes.

You can make it in 45 minutes?

-You're going to come. You swear?

-Yeah, we promise.

ADAM:
Dude. You're a f***ing stripper?

MlKE:
Ha-ha-ha.

l swear, l thought you were going

to sh*t the bed, but you, heh, actually did it.

Ah, l feel like l owe you.

l can throw you 1 00 bucks...

...tip you out at the end of the night...

-...if you really want to host.

ADAM:
Host what?

MlKE:

Yeah. No, for sure.

-l hope you're ready for this sh*t.

-Ha, ha.

[WOMEN WHOOPlNG]

WOMAN:

Who's your friend, Mike?

[WOMEN LAUGHlNG]

MlKE:
This is the owner. Jesus.

DALLAS:
Whoo.

F***ing Valhalla sh*t, man, mwah.

You see that sh*t, Mike?

Chicks are gonna go f***ing crazy

over this, man.

l'm thinking of giving this routine

to Tarzan, unless you want it.

MlKE:
No. lt's not my style, but, uh,

somebody should do it. lt's cool.

-Oh, it's f***ing really good, heh.

MlKE:
Mm-hm.

Ah, who's this?

This is the Kid. Uh, he wrangled, like,

nine sorority girls for us tonight...

...so l figured

he could help out around here tonight.

DALLAS:

How old are you?

-Uh, nineteen.

DALLAS:
Nineteen.

-The f*** am l supposed to do with that?

MlKE:
Oh, come on. He don't look 1 9.

l can't have him host.

Can't have a 1 9-year-old

on the f***ing street.

Then he can do props, can't he?

-l can do anything.

-We're setting up our own sh*t as it is.

All right. Props.

You're on props tonight.

Do whatever Mikey tells you,

any of the guys tell you.

Clean the f***ing toilets, whatever.

Tonight. And listen up.

-This is not a f***ing joke.

-Heh.

DALLAS:
All right? lt's not a f***ing hobby.

This is a serious business l'm running.

So the last thing l need

is a teenage liability f***ing my future up.

-Don't try it. Yeah.

DALLAS:
Capiche?

TARZAN:
One thing about Waffle House p*ssy

is you got to worry about the teeth.

Waffle House p*ssy?

l hate Waffle House p*ssy, heh.

[ALL CHUCKLlNG]

Everybody, this is the Kid.

Y'all can thank me later.

He's going to help us out tonight.

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