Machete Kills Page #3

on Miss Corpus Christi?

All right.

For all of you new girls,

it's peso-p*ssy Tuesday.

So keep your panties dropped, your legs

spread, and your snatch well-oiled,

'cause you're not walking any

straight lines tomorrow.

As you know,

every jerk-off low-life from

this side of Rio Grande

is gonna pile through that door

as soon as the sun comes down,

so get them off

and get them out.

And, ladies, every stiff pecker

in my parlor pays to play.

No freebies.

Those are house rules.

Doors open in five minutes.

You're early, handsome.

But then again, the early

bird gets the fresh egg.

I'm looking for a girl.

And I'm looking at a man that

came to the right place.

Pick your poison.

This is the one I want.

Why this one?

Best in Mexico.

Have a seat on the couch,

lover boy.

I'll go fetch her for you.

Where's the girl?

Upstairs. Room six.

But don't go.

You'll miss the peepshow.

I blew my wad, lover boy.

Get him!

Who the f*** are you?

Machete.

I've heard Mendez speak of you.

You want to use me

to get to him?

Take me.

Now.

Cereza!

I said no freebies.

You know, the first thing we are

taught is to defend ourselves.

Any one of us

could have killed you.

You think my mom had bite?

Mendez is gonna gut

you like a game hen.

That was your mother?

You're here to kill him,

aren't you?

Look, don't be

a f***ing hero, man.

Mendez is many things, but

merciful is not one of them.

He'll skin you alive for

laying your hands on me.

I'm his cereza, his virgin.

Mendez isn't who

you think he is.

The terrible things he did, he

did them for the greater good.

All he truly wants

is a better Mexico.

Machete, you have to promise me

you'll spare his life

and help him.

Please, Machete.

If you've ever loved

anyone, you'd understand.

Do nothing, say nothing,

or you're dead.

Who's this?

New bodyguard.

Mother's orders.

Go ahead, Zaror.

Call it in.

Tell Mendez the muscle

comes or I don't.

Yes.

So here's the thing.

He's lost his mind. There

are two sides to him now.

Some days he's Mendez the

Revolutionary, fighting for the people.

But other days he's

Mendez the Madman,

reliving his cartel glory.

It's a toss-up which

one you're gonna get.

So he'll either hug you

or he'll kill you.

His condition gets worse every day.

The boss has a message

for you, Machete.

End of message.

WOW!

Look what the little

whore dragged in.

Machete Cortez.

Yes, I've heard your stories.

People still sing

songs about you.

Raise your hand

if you have sung a song

about our friend Machete here.

Only son of a b*tch who gets his

praises sung around here is me.

So tell me, Machete, what did

you think of my Cereza, huh?

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