Love and Death Page #3

He'll go and he'll fight.

And I hope they will put him

in the front lines.

Thanks a lot, Mum. My mother, folks.

This is crazy. I can't shoot a gun.

I was meant to write poetry.

Sonja, I'm not the army type.

I slept with the light on till I was 30.

I can't shower with other men.

Friends. My friends.

On the eve of this glorious occasion,

I have an announcement to make.

Because we go into battle, perhaps

never to see our loved ones again,

I wish to announce

that tomorrow I intend to marry.

I'm going to take as my bride

a woman I have grown up with.

Anna lvanova.

Ivan.

I'm sorry. I should have told you.

I also have an announcement to make.

Tomorrow, I too get married.

I have been proposed to

and have accepted the hand of

Sergei lvanovich Minskov.

Yes... I mean Leonid Voskovec,

the herring merchant.

You! Get out here!

You're the worst soldier I ever seen.

- You ignorammus!

- Ignoramus, sir.

- You want a dishonourable discharge?

- Yes, sir. Or a furlough.

Goddamn you!

You love Russia, don't you?

- Yessir.

- Louder!

- You like it here?

- Yessir!

- You want to make a career in the army?

- Well, let's not get carried away.

You can clean the mess hall

and the latrine!

Yessir. How will I tell the difference?

OK.

One, two! One, two! One, two!

Three is next, if you're having any trouble.

Naturally, the war affects

the herring industry.

The ports are blockaded.

Fresh shipments of the herring

become more difficult to obtain.

And, of course, when something

hurts herring, it hurts me.

What people don't understand

is that there are hundreds

of types of herring,

each with its own interesting history.

Sonja. Are you OK?

Oh, yes.

But I've talked long enough.

Why don't you two play, as I have got

some important business to attend to?

A capital idea.

Ready? And a one and a two...

And...

- You stopped.

- What would you think

if I told you you were one of the most

beautiful women I have ever seen?

I'd think what a mad fool he is.

And what would you say

if I suddenly put my arms around you?

I'd think what a mad,

impetuous fool he is.

And what would you think if I kissed you?

I'd think what a mad,

impetuous, wonderful fool he is.

- Don't!

- I must!

- We just ate.

- Your skin, it is so beautiful.

Yes, I know. It covers my whole body.

I must have you.

No, not on the piano. It's a rented piano.

Darling, my darling, my...

Sonja!

Sonja, did you see a jar of wine sauce?

- Come to my quarters tomorrow at three.

- I can't.

- Please!

- It's immoral. What time?

- Who is to say what is moral?

- Morality is subjective.

Subjectivity is objective.

Moral notions imply attributes

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