Love & Air Sex Page #4

that's not your fault,

all right?

But it doesn't mean you can't still

bang some strange this evening, buddy.

Okay, yeah. It's been

a long time

since you entered

the field of battle,

that's true.

Uh-huh.

And you're worried about

hatching out of your shell

before you're

fully incubated.

Nobody likes preemies,

they're disgusting.

That's not

gonna be an issue,

because I'm gonna give you a couple

of arrows to put into your quiver.

That's going to help you

to bring down the big game.

Maybe pick one metaphor?

Okay.

I'm just assuming that

you... Follow me here, Stan.

Girls guard the vagina.

Yeah, they guard it

with their life.

Okay? So we have

to guard the penis.

Oh, okay. Like a hockey goal, you know?

He doesn't like metaphors.

The puck is the vagina.

He doesn't like them, so

we're not gonna use metaphors.

Stan?

You've gotta let them know

they can't have this.

Because people always want what they

can't have. What they can't have...

See? So, you've gotta be an a**hole!

Yeah, but not a giant a**hole. Right.

You can't be

an unfuckable a**hole,

you have

to be discreet.

You have to

say things to women

that appear nice at

first... Very discreet.

Right. They appear nice, but

really, they're kind of mean.

Do y'all have a tab?

Jenkins.

Woo, that is a serious

STD sandwich.

Who cares about them,

this is our night, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Here is to home.

This will always be home,

no matter what.

Boom! ATX in the hizzle!

Little bit weird!

How's it going, ladies?

Wow, you girls

look really pretty.

I'm sorry, are you lost?

You're

funny, I like your hair.

And your tats.

You wanna dance?

Mmm, no.

Oh. Why?

Is your boyfriend here?

I don't have a boyfriend.

He's an idiot!

Okay, so,

for example, um...

You would say something like,

"That's a beautiful dress you have on,

"it really makes

your ass look small. "

Or, like my friend says,

"You're a fat ass,

"but you're really not

that big. "

Or, "Hey, is that

a beauty mark,

"or do you just have

some sh*t on your face?"

That's really good.

That's really...

Can I use that?

Yeah, of course.

That's a good line.

Essentially, what

we're doing, Stan,

is we're lowering

their self-esteem

so that then they look

to us for validation

and we can...

you tell girls they're ugly so

they'll want to have sex with you.

Yeah.

In a nutshell.

Oh! Geez, um... Oh, I'm

so sorry, are you okay?

Yeah, it's... I...

Oh, my goodness, here.

Take that for you.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry, can I

get you another drink?

Uh, no, that's okay...

I mean, I think you look

like you need another drink.

Um...

Here, have some of mine.

No, I'm fine.

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