Louis C.K.: Shameless Page #3

Synopsis: Comedy and television star Louis C.K. returns to HBO for an hour of no-holds-barred, adults-only stand-up comedy! Taped before a live audience at the Henry Fonda Theater in Los Angeles, the performance finds Louis taking aim at fat and skinny people, spending money, bumper stickers, Californians, strangers and friends, sex and marriage, lying to your spouse, losing your privacy, and the new favorite pastime for fathers.
Genre: Comedy, Documentary
Director(s): Steven J. Santos
Actors: Louis C.K.
 
IMDB:
8.7
  Louis C.K.: Shameless Movie Quotes »
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TV-MA
Year:
2007
56 min
553 Views

"OH, YOU MOTHERF***ER."

- NOW I HAVE TO KNOW

YOU EXIST, YOU PIECE OF SH*T.

F***ING GO SKATE INTO AN AIDS

TREE, YOU MOTHERF***ER.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

I DON'T KNOW, I'VE STARTED TO

KIND OF HATE PEOPLE,

AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE

I HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST THEM,

IT'S JUST I-I ENJOY IT,

IT'S JUST RECREATION.

LIKE, YOU KNOW

WHEN YOU'RE AT THE BANK

AND YOU GOT NOTHING TO DO WHILE

YOU'RE WAITING IN LINE,

SO YOU JUST PICK PEOPLE

TO HATE WHILE YOU'RE WAITING?

YOU JUST LOOK AT SOMEONE

AND FORM AN OPINION

WITH NO INFORMATION.

AND IT'S NEVER POSITIVE.

WHO F***ING WASTES THEIR TIME-

"I BET HE'S A HARD WORKER."

WHO THINKS ABOUT THAT SH*T?

- SKIP OVER THOSE PEOPLE.

THEN YOU FIND A GUY-

"OH, LOOK AT HIS SHOES,

WHAT A F***ING A**HOLE.

OH, LOOK AT THA PIECE OF SH*T,

HOPE HE DIES TODAY.

OH, GOD, I HATE HIM."

"I HATE HIM!"

YOU WATCH ALL THE SH*T-

"YEAH, FILL THAT OUT,

YOU F*** FACE.

"FILL IT OUT. YEAH,

YOU FILLED IT OUT, I KNEW IT.

YOU SUCK."

HE'S JUST STANDING THERE,

HE HAS NO IDEA YOU'RE JUS BOILING WITH HATE,

YOU KNOW?

- I FEEL PEOPLE HATING ME

SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW,

LIKE, UH, I WAS

AT THE POST OFFICE,

AND I'M AT THE LINE-YOU KNOW,

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS

WHERE THERE'S A LONG LINE

AND 1 WINDOW OPEN.

SO EVERYONE IS:

JUST LIKE, "AAH!"

EVERYONE'S MAD.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE LINE,

YOU'RE IN THE HATE GROUP.

YOU GET TO BE PART OF THE GROUP,

AND YOU'RE ALL LOOKING

AT EACH OTHER GOING,

"HUH, HUH... "

"HMM," LIKE A SILENT MOVIE

OF IMPATIENT PEOPLE, YOU KNOW.

THEN THERE'S ALWAYS 1 PERSON

WHO BREAKS THE SILENCE,

SOMEBODY WHO HAS AN IDEA,

YOU KNOW, LIKE-

"THEY SHOULD OPEN

ANOTHER WINDOW."

- AND EVERYBODY'S LIKE,

"YEAH, I KNOW,

"TOTALLY,

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW.

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW

HOW TO DO ANYTHING."

- THEN THERE'S ALWAYS

AN OLD LADY WHO HAS A STORY.

"I WAS HERE ON WEDNESDAY... "

- "AND THERE WAS

ALSO A LINE LIKE THIS."

HOLY SH*T, REALLY?!

OH, MY GOD,

YOU F***ING OLD LADY,

THAT'S AMAZING!

- WELL, ANYWAY, THEN IT'S

YOUR TURN AT THE WINDOW, RIGHT?

AND NOW EVERYBODY'S

LOOKING AT YOU,

AND YOU FEEL THE SCRUTINY

OF HOW QUICKLY YOU'RE

MAILING YOUR SH*T,

YOU START REALIZING

HOW UNIMPORTANT YOUR PACKAGE IS,

AND YOU FEEL LIKE THEY CAN TELL.

"F***, GET OUT OF THERE.

YOU DON'T NEED TO MAIL

THAT RIGHT NOW."

AND IT'S LIKE...

- IF YOU DO 1 LITTLE

EXTRA THING LIKE,

"DO YOU HAVE THOSE STAMPS

THAT HAVE JACKIE ROBINSON?"

BEHIND YOUR EAR, LIKE,

YOU HEAR, "PFFF, JESUS.

F*** IT, DUDE."

THEY PUT THEIR SH*T DOWN

HEAVILY LIKE, "F***!

"NOW THIS MOTHERF***ER'S GONNA

MAKE ME STAND HERE

"WHILE HE BUYS F***ING STAMPS

AT THE POST OFFICE?

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

"LET'S SH*T IN HIS

MOUTH RIGHT NOW, SERIOUSLY.

"LET'S-YOU F***ING HOLD

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Louis C.K.

Louis A. Székely (born September 12, 1967), better known by his stage name Louis C.K. (), is a Mexican American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and filmmaker. He is known for his use of observational, self-deprecating, dark, and shock humor. In 2012, C.K. won a Peabody Award and has received six Primetime Emmy Awards, as well as numerous awards for The Chris Rock Show, Louie, and his stand-up specials Live at the Beacon Theater (2011) and Oh My God (2013). He has won the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album twice. Rolling Stone ranked C.K.'s stand-up special Shameless number three on their "Divine Comedy: 25 Best Stand-Up Specials and Movies of All Time" list and ranked him fourth on its 2017 list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time.C.K. began his career in the 1990s writing for comedians including David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Dana Carvey, Chris Rock, and also for other comedy shows. Also in this period, he was directing surreal short films and went on to direct two features—Tomorrow Night (1998) and Pootie Tang (2001). In 2001, C.K. released his debut comedy album, Live in Houston directly through his website and became among the first performers to offer direct-to-fan sales of tickets to his stand-up shows, as well as DRM-free video concert downloads, via his website. He has released nine comedy albums, often directing and editing his specials as well. He had supporting acting roles in the films The Invention of Lying (2009), American Hustle, Blue Jasmine (both 2013), and Trumbo (2015). C.K. created, directed, executive produced, starred in, wrote, and was the primary editor of, Louie, an acclaimed semi-autobiographical comedy-drama series aired from 2010 to 2015 on FX. In 2016, C.K. created and starred in his self-funded web series Horace and Pete. He also co-created the shows Baskets and Better Things for FX and voiced Max the dog in the animated film The Secret Life of Pets in the same year. His 2017 film, I Love You, Daddy, was pulled from distribution prior to its scheduled release date after multiple women accused him of sexual misconduct which he then admitted to. more…

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